capeandcowl | Entries tagged with † jessica wakefield | the clique

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sweetvalleygirl

[Jessica looks uncharacteristically melancholy. She's in what was Laura's bedroom, sprawled out on her friend's bed, holding the communicator above her as she makes exaggerated faces at the camera.]

Laura. Laura. Helloooooo? I know you can hear me Laura. Stop ignoring me, it's totally not cute.

[She sighs, rolling over.]

I guess she's really gone. I kinda thought she'd never leave. She wasn't supposed to leave.

[For a split second Jessica looks like she might get misty-eyed before she recovers and her usual superior expression returns.]

This is officially the most depressing day ever. You guys should cheer me up. Now.

sweetvalleygirl

Are you guys finally done getting tortured or whatever? Because, seriously, this is all super depressing and I'm really tired of hearing about it. Can't we all just, I don't know, stop talking about that stuff and move on with our lives?

sweetvalleygirl

This is a very important week for me. My birthday is in just two short days, which of course means I'm going to throw a party at the Tool Shed. If you're cool, you're invited. Certain invitees know who they are, other will be considered after a case is made to me. Make your best argument and I will decide your fate.

Also, this weekend is prom, which is of course this social event of the year! This year, since a certain individual decided that rotting in prison is preferable to having a semi-decent social life, I'll be escorted to the prom by Mister Fitzwilliam Darcy! [Wait... does he know this yet? YOLO.] Yes, you're allowed to be jealous. He's a total stud.

And while I have your undivided attention, I'm looking for a fascinating subject to profile in the next issue of City Lights. If you're an interesting person, you should totally talk to me and tell me why you're awesome and deserve to be interviewed for the magazine. Boring people need not apply.

sweetvalleygirl

[The camera flicks on, showing two female figures huddled in a darkened room, one girl fumbling with the communicator. They're both panting hard, whimpering as they try to catch their breath, and outside the door, something distinctly not human is scratching, howling, and laughing at them.]

It's gonna eat us, Lila!

[Lila only stops making the high-pitched, continual eeeeee (which, really, isn't helping against members of the dog family) long enough to correct Jessica.]

THEY! THEY'RE gonna eat us, Jess! Didn't you see the other one? With the fangs and the slobber and I am too pretty to be puppy chow! That's what you do with used up hor-

[She cuts herself off in a loud shriek, and one hand flies up to cover her mouth. Now that she's hyperventilating under her hand, the communicator's microphone is picking up the distinct sounds of wood cracking.]

Oh my god! Why is this happening? I want to live!

[Jessica wails loudly, before apparently having a bright idea.]

Hold them off for a second! I have to go get something!

[She accidentally kicks the communicator in her scramble to dart away.]

HOLD THEM OFF? Are you crazy? Why doesn't this place have a fire escape?

[A moment later, though, Lila crawls through the frame in her nightie, clutching a stiletto. After she's offscreen, there's thump and her legs return, bent as if she's sitting and bracing herself. The door is rattling less, but the laughter is getting louder.]

Get some hairspray and a lighter!

I've got something better than that!

[Jessica reappears, clutching what would appear to be a handgun. Yup, that's totally a handgun. And even in the dark, her devious grin can be seen.]

Okay! Open the door! And be careful, I've only done this once before!

[Lila starts screaming her head off at the sight of this.]

Open the door?!? What if you MISS?

[Except that there are wild animals on the other side of the door, and they can't stay here forever. The legs disapper as Lila gets to her feet.]

OK. OK. One, two... THREE!

[Lila wrenches the door open and can be seen throwing herself onto the bed. Meanwhile, Jessica has her eyes closed tight as she pulls the trigger and the gun fires.

BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!

Cue sharp yelping from outside the door for a second, followed by the earth shattering sound of silence.]

Lila? It's safe now. I think I killed them.

[She pauses, staring into the camera with a look of horror on her face.]

Oh gawwwwwd!!

[[ooc: Pink is Jessica, purple is Lila. This is in reference to the Jumanji happenings tonight!]]

sweetvalleygirl

[Jessica is seated in what would appear to be a dive bar. It's pretty dark, save for some colored lights bouncing off the walls, but her smirking expression can clearly be made out. There's some classic rock playing loudly in the background and a few other people moving around behind her. The place is clean, though a bit worn down looking. It's definitely not a trendy spot or a dance club, and fair to say that Jessica looks completely out of place in this establishment. No matter, she's perched on a bar stool, carrying on like she owns the place.

That's because she does. Sort of.]

Hello, darlings! It is my pleasure to introduce to you the new and improved Tool Shed lounge!

[She grins, gesturing widely. It's obvious she's quite proud.]

That's right, this place is back in business and I'm at the helm. For those of you not in the know, this bar has been run by imPorts basically for as long as there have been imPorts. And after it's temporary closure when Tom Bronson ported out, I took it upon myself to raise it from the ashes. And just in time, too! Any later and this place would have been turned into another trendy cupcake hut or something equally pretentious.

[Not that she wouldn't like to have a cupcake empire of her own, but let's be real, the designer cupcake market is overly saturated and the bubble is bound to burst any day now. She's not that dumb.]

Anyways, to celebrate the grand re-opening of the Tool Shed, we'll be having a special promotion for the entire month! All imPorts who stop in get one free drink on the house, and any non-imPorts they bring with them get their drinks half off! Offer valid until the thirty-first of December, some restrictions apply, see management for details. That's me, by the way.

[She grins again, waving to the camera before switching off the feed.]

sweetvalleygirl

[Jessica is her bright and vibrant self, sprawled out on her bed with various fashion magazines, clothes, and make-up all around her. It's just a typical day in her life, so it seems.]

It's a good thing I decided not to go to Venezuela, huh?! You poor, poor people! I can't imagine how you guys feel. It must feel so awful.

And that cure? Jeez, what kind of sick joke is that?! I mean, I can't even come up with a single thing I feel ashamed of or guilty about. I guess I'd just be out of luck in that case. Poor me, left to wither and die or become an emotion spewing zombie or whatever.

[She nods, almost like she's congratulating herself on making the right choice.]

Yeah, I totally lucked out by staying home. But it's really just unfortunate for everyone else. There's like, legit doctors and stuff helping out, right? Hasn't anybody come up with a better cure yet?

greatestfailure

[It's dark, but from the looks of things, Jason's up on a rooftop somewhere. He looks younger. Like, significantly younger, barely managing to keep the sleeve of one of his ratty hoodies from blocking the view finder of the comm. The ambient noise is such that the wind overwhelms the microphone every so often, drowning him out now and then. It's just as well, his voice is squeaky and cracking anyway. No one needs to hear that.]

A lot of people want to relive their youth, but I didn't have it so easy back when I was actually this age. In fact, I can confidently say that I'm not nostalgic for childhood in any way that I'm consciously aware of. Modern therapy would probably have something to say about that. Anyway, it must be nice for those of you who are into that kind of thing.

[He pauses, running his other hand through mussy black hair. There's just the hint of auburn red root that's visible underneath.]

But I'm not posting this just to wax poetic on childhood, and psychotherapy and all that crap. I don't really care if you're enjoying this trip down memory lane and shitty hormones or not. The reality of all us being kids is that there's less protection for normal people out on the street.

Anybody got a plan for that, by the way? 'Cos I'm stuck here without my pixie boots.

[From behind Jason comes a flash of color in the form of a small blond in a bright purple coat. Jessica seems entirely oblivious to his current moody state as she bounces up to him to tug on his hood sleeve.]

Come on, Jason! Let's go ride your motorcycle! It'll be fun!

[And with that, he very hastily shuts off the feed. He was done anyway, but no one needs to see the rest of this.]

sweetvalleygirl

[Laura is curled up on the couch, in the worn-out tanktop she sleeps in, her legs curled up under a blanket with the almost-a-year-old dog Basil snuggled up next to her, his head resting on her knee. She has one hand resting on Basil's head, absently scritching between his ears, her other arm resting on the edge of the couch beneath a lamp, where Jessica's copy of 'Crescent' rests as Laura tries to read it.

From her expression, she isn't having a very good time of things, whether that's because she's not enjoying it, or she doesn't really 'get' it, is anyone's guess. But she'd promised to give it a try, so here she is! Trying. Poorly. She turns a page and her frown gets slightly worse, and then...she turns back. After a few seconds of skimming, she shifts slightly in her spot and turns the page again, either figuring out what she wanted, or giving up.

From her "hiding spot" across the room, Jessica (who is holding the camera) snickers quietly to herself, oblivious to the fact that Laura looks so perplexed. A moment later, she springs into the room proper, dancing around and singing in a loud, off key voice:]

Once upon a time I was falling in love,
Now I'm only falling apart!
Nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart!

[Jessica shrieks with laughter before collapsing on the floor by Laura's knees. Basil looks oddly calm during this entire display. The camera slowly pans in on Laura's face.]

Isn't Crescent great, Laura? Isn't it so romantic?

[Laura looks a bit dumbfounded as Jessica comes running up to her singing, much more so than the dog does, actually. When her roommate collapses there, she frowns at her faintly before she answers.]

It is... something.

Don't you just find the love between Crescent and Spencer so compelling? The words practically leap off the page! Every time I reread it, I feel like I'm being transported into that magical world, where people have superpowers and port in and out at random.

[She giggles.]

If you know what I mean!

Spencer is tedious and I do not see why Crescent would...

[Laura pauses, her eyes narrowing.]

...Are you filming this, Jessica?

[Jessica cackles. It sounds truly evil.]

I just wanted to memorialize your reaction to the greatest love story ever told!

[Laura is silent for a moment before she reaches out to snatch the phone and turn it off.]

((ooc: purple is jessica, blue is laura.))

sweetvalleygirl

[Jessica is practically flailing she is so excited!]

Oh. My. Gawd! Guys guys guys! Look what just got submitted to run in the next issue of City Lights!

[She aims her communicator at a stack of random papers, letting the camera slowly adjust and finally focus on this. She squeaks in glee before turning the camera back to herself.]

It's an ad for 'Crescent'! And with the print ads, obviously that means the trailer is out! So Today, I went onto the Youtube-thing... and look what I found!

[A wild link appears. Pretend it's for 'Crescent'. It's about this level of dramatic and acting quality, only it's starring Rooney Mara as Crescent, Channing Tatum as Spencer and Marius, and Lindsay Lohan as 'Celeste'. Also at the end, it reveals that the film will be released in November.

Jessica meanwhile is screeching again.]

Eeeeeeeeeh! I am so excited, I can hardly breathe!

[She fans herself with both hands, as if to calm herself down. It is not very effective.]

Ugh, it looks so good already! I mean, obviously they had to make a few changes for the adaptation. Crescent Wayne should be blonde, Spencer is described as more brooding and sophisticated, Celeste isn't supposed to look like a 45 year old crack whore, etc., but I can forgive that as long as they like, capture the spirit of the novels! And if this trailer is any indication, they so totally have!

[She finally does seem to calm down, long enough to pout and whine.]

Gawd, this movie is going to be completely freaking perfect! Why does Thanksgiving have to be so far away!

sweetvalleygirl

[Hello network! This is a bird's eye view of a pretty disheveled looking living room in a pretty mundane looking apartment. There's a ratty couch and an armchair, off to one side, a hallway that probably leads to some bedrooms. Overall, it's not much to look at. Well, not on its own, anyway.

Strung up from the ceiling fan is this guy. Terrifying, right? Truly the stuff nightmares are made of. Anyway, underneath ~~him~~ it is a crowbar with an attached note that reads "use me". The general area of the floor around these things is covered with one of those recycle-able blue tarps. You know, like the kind they use for pools in the winter? Completely water (and everything else proof).

So there you have the set up for scenery. The video continues on this peaceful image for about three minutes. In that time, a shaggy German shepherd walks through and barks once at the pinata. It probably deserves to be barked at, really. Finally, there's the sound of a key turning in a deadbolt, and someone shoving what's probably a very heavy front door open.

Within another minute, none other than the Red Hood enters the room, but only still half dressed in his typical Red Hood getup. He doesn't seem to notice the head floating in the air at first, and makes it about three paces into the small room before looking up, yelping the post manly of yelps, and jumping back to the very edge of the camera's view.]

Holy fucking shit!

[And with that, Jason shoots the piñata three times, just to be safe. From the portion of him still visible to the, his body language is defensive, as if he's expecting the thing to spring to life and come after him. Look, it's a pretty legitimate concern. When it just sort of... Oozes, he advances, finally spotting the crowbar and the note. His brow is furrowed and he refuses to take his eyes off the floating head as he picks it up and reads the note. There's another minute or so of him surveying the oozing, bullet ridden head, and hefting the crowbar from arm to arm, presumably considering whether or not he should follow the instructions.

Eventually, he shrugs and goes with it. It only takes two good swings to drop the pinata, but the second one sends a glob of red something or another flying at the comm's lens, obscuring the image. The feed cuts out pretty soon after that.]

sweetvalleygirl

It's my 18th birthday on Wednesday. Who wants to party?

sweetvalleygirl

[The feed begins with Jessica dancing around her bedroom, slowly in a weird little circle. It's like a strange mix between ballet and modern and it's just... funny looking. Also she's singing this. Spoilers, she can barely carry a tune.]

Take a straight and stronger course to the corner of your life.
Make the white queen run so fast she hasn't got time to make you a wife.

[Suddenly, seemingly from nowhere, her nine duplicates appear, singing together in unison.]

'Cause it's time is time in time with your time and its news is captured for the queen to use!

[Then Jessica-Prime takes over again.]

Move me on to any black square, use me anytime you want.
Just remember that the goal is for us all to capture all we want.

[The chorus of duplicates twirls around Jessica-Prime as they sing.]

Move me on to any black square!

[Jessica-Prime leads them in a coordinated square-dance type thing.]

Don't surround yourself with yourself, move on back two squares.
Send an instant karma to me, initial it with loving care!

Don't surround yourself with yourself!

Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda!
Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda!
Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda!
Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda!

[The music begins to crescendo, and the Jessica's all rock out to a musical interlude.]

I've seen all good people turn their heads each day so satisfied I'm on my way!

[This is followed by more dancing for a minute or so before Jessica-Prime seems to snap out of it and hurriedly reabsorb her dupes before shutting off the communicator.]

sweetvalleygirl

Charlie, I'm striking out on finding you a new boyfriend. It's not because I'm not trying, or because the boys around here are ugly or anything. It's just that there are so many potential matches, I can't decide who would be the perfect match for you!

So I consulted Nepeta, and we came up with a terrific idea! Speed dating! It's all the fun of a regular date in a tenth of the time, plus you get to date a ton of different people and nobody bats an eye or talks bad about you for it! It's a win-win!

[She sounds way too excited for this.]

Now, Charlie, Nepeta and I arranged this whole thing for you, so of course you'll be attending. Now all we need are a few more willing participants ready to meet the love of their lives!

We've got space rented out at [insert some location here!] and you'll be dining on delicious Italian food, courtesy of my kitchen. I'm a good cook, you can totally ask anyone. And best of all, there's no fee, because Nepeta and I are doing this out of the goodness of our hearts! We just want everybody to be happy!

(( ooc: This is in relation to the speed dating love plot! Feel free to sign up there! ))

sweetvalleygirl

Okay, so, I've been trying to get a hold of Steph for a few days now and she's not answering her communicator. I'm not positive, but I think she's been ported out. Either way, someone should go check on her. Someone who isn't me, preferably.

Also, I haven't seen that Tim guy around since like... Christmas or something. I wonder what happened to him. The Porter must've got him, I guess. Such a shame, too. He was kind of hot.

[She sighs dramatically before her voice picks up again.]

They were both from Gotham, right? Weird. I wonder if they're happy to be back there. [She giggles.] But then again, from the way you guys talk about it, I bet nobody's happy to be back there. If everyone hates that place so much, maybe it's time to move out to the suburbs, or maybe to L.A.

At least it's sunny in L.A.

Anyways, I'm bored and I think Jason has the flu, so I'm gonna ask you a question! [She pauses thoughtfully for a moment.] Tell me about your hometown! That's a good one, right? I want to know all about it, all the silly little details, like where you hung out after school and what you'd do on the weekends. Stuff like that.

sweetvalleygirl

[Jessica is sitting in Carrie and Jason's living room, glued to the sofa. She's got a big bowl of popcorn popped and in the background Roxanne's news reporting can be heard.]

Holy crap! This is totally insane! I can't believe all those people were horrible alien kidnappers this whole time!

[Elephant noises are coming from the TV.]

I wonder if anyone is going to get killed on television!

sweetvalleygirl

[Jessica's voice is quivering, she's quite obviously in tears.]

Ewwww! I can't even--! It's so grody!

[She takes a deep breath, gasping to calm down.]

You said you were a doctor! I remember you said that to the Network! Please, you have to help! Something is wrong with him! Please, Doctor Bones! You have to fix him! Can we come over? Please?

sweetvalleygirl

[The feed shows Jessica delicately nibbling on a french fry. She is very clearly in a fast food restaurant and someone else is very sneakily (and shakily) holding the camera.]

Yeah, so anyway like I was saying, Johnny and Jessica and I were in the bathtub, too. And then the water turned on and we were all soaking wet and then Johnny was all--

Holy fuck. We've been here for an hour. Eat your goddamn chicken nuggets or I will shove them down your throat.

Don't curse at me! Ohmigawd! Rude!

I don't care. Just eat your damn food.

I can't eat those. [Another fry in her mouth.] I'm on the yogurt diet.

Yogurt isn't food.

Yes it is! It was revered by the ancient Greeks for it's healing properties.

And look where that got them.

Whatever. Anyway, Alexander the Great got really sick while traveling through Turkey, and some locals gave him yogurt and he got better. He said it was the food of the gods. You see, the Greeks didn't have yogurt technology back then. Their civilization hadn't progressed that far. Also, Abraham credited yogurt as the reason for his longevity. Abraham as in the one from the bible, I mean.

[several seconds of silence]

How the fuck do you know all that?

Don't curse! And anyway it's like, common knowledge. Duh.

No.

Hahaha, yes, Jason.

I refuse to accept that Alexander the Great and Abraham's eating habits are common knowledge to someone who didn't know that McDonald's has apple pie.

[Jessica makes a face. She's not impressed.]

Sorry apple pie is not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of fast food. Gawd.

Okay, sure. Just hurry it up, fatty.

[A pause, then RAEGFACE as she's reaching across the table to swat at the communicator.]

What the hell! You're such a di-- Ohmigawd have you been recording me this whole ti--

((ooc: Red- Jason, black- Jessica))

sweetvalleygirl

Ohmigawd! Can you believe it? It's almost been a whole year since I arrived in the City! Time totally flew by!

Obviously this calls for a major celebration! I'm throwing a party at my place this Friday night and everyone is invited! There will be music and food and a cake and it's gonna be so rad! You all better show up or I will be super disappointed!

[fail locked to Laura Kinney]

Surprise! I hope you don't mind!

sweetvalleygirl

[See Jessica. See Jessica flail. Flail Jessica, flail. Yeah, someone is bouncing around Laura's apartment, huffing and looking generally displeased by everything.]

Gah! Liz! Shut up! This isn't even about you! I don't even like Todd! Just quit it already! Or like, try to be useful or something, jeez! All day long it's been 'gobble, gobble, gobble, blah, blah, blah'! Stop being so obnoxious, ohmigawd, or I swear I will cook you and turn you into a sandwich!

[She pouts, turning from staring at an empty space on the floor to look at the comm.]

Can you believe her? Such a drama queen, gobbling at me like that! Ugh! [a pause] Does anyone know how to say 'SHUT THE HELL UP, ELIZABETH' in Turkish? That would be totally helpful right now.

sweetvalleygirl

[Jessica appears onscreen, wearing a leather jacket that is a few sizes too large and most assuredly not hers. Regardless, she seems quite comfortable in it.]

Hey, Jason! You forgot something in the hotel room. And then you left without saying goodbye. Honestly, I'm offended! I mean, really! Talk about rude!

[She pouts a little, then looks slightly devious.]

But I know a way you can make it up to me. I'll give you back your jacket when you do.

sweetvalleygirl

[Jessica is at Hudson River Park, sitting on the grass facing the Hudson and New Jersey. Beside her is Laura's still-to-be-named puppy, pouncing on a leaf blowing across the lawn.]

Brrr! It's gotten so cold all of a sudden. I can't believe it's autumn already! Before you know it, it'll be Halloween! And then Thanksgiving!

[She pats the ground and the puppy comes bounding back to her.]

Anyway, who all is going to the charity ball this weekend? I'm planning a shopping trip tomorrow after school if anyone wants to join me!

[This next part is purposely not filtered at all.]

Oh yeah! Hey, Text Guy! Hey!

[A pause.]

Jason. Yoohoo!

[She gives her most charming grin.]

Like, I know you think you're being super stealthy and stuff, but I've seen you creeping around the school. I saw you yesterday and I saw you again today, so don't try to deny it. What's the big idea? Why're you acting like such a weirdo? I know you're trying to be all scary and stuff, but sneaking around in broad daylight is not the way to do it. People are just gonna think you're a crazy stalker or something.

sweetvalleygirl

[Jessica looks more or less like a half-drowned rat, sputtering and whimpering and completely drenched as she stumbles into what used to be Laura's apartment.]

Oh my gawd! What is with this rain?! It's like standing in a shower or something!

[She wrinkles her nose and tries to wring out her hair.]

It never rains like this in Sweet Valley. We have nice rain, pretty rain. You know, like, sprinkles. Not buckets of hot, disgusting water being poured all over the place!

[She tries to fluff her hair, but it's so limp it basically does nothing, so she tries to turn on the TV... but alas! The cable is out!]

Ugh! Seriously?! Now I can't even watch my shows! This is awful!

sweetvalleygirl

Did everyone make it back from Alaska okay? Please say yes.

[She's quiet for a moment, looking rather anxious. All these news reports and network posts have Jessica feeling confused and worried.]

Um, I was just thinking... If the porter can give people powers, why does it need to bring us here in the first place? Why doesn't it just give powers to people from this world and leave us out of this?

sweetvalleygirl

[Jessica's back in her pink bikini again, the same one she first arrived in. Luckily it's not January this time so she's not freezing to death. Still, the girl is not impressed.]

How rude! I'm serious, that was totally not cool at all! Taking me away during the roadtrip? What the hell, Porter! Gah! Go gag your face or something. Bluh!

And, ohmigawd, what is the point of sending me home if I'm just gonna get pulled back like thirty seconds later?! That was a total waste of time, if you ask me.

[She huffs dramatically, fluffs her hair, and pushes her sunglasses up on top of her head.]

Yoohoo? Allison? Jess? Johnny? Marceline? Alex? Luffy? Tom? Bender? Hellooooooo? Where are you guys? Are you still on the roadtrip? Are you lost somewhere in Kentucky? Did you even notice I was gone? Ugh, this is so unfair!

sweetvalleygirl

[Jessica is in her hot pink bikini by the pool at the MAC. In the background, some bitchin tunes can be heard.]

Today is my seventeenth birthday. Or forty-fourth, I guess, whatever. Anyway, I was just thinking, it's my first birthday without my sister, and it... feels really weird. I mean, Liz and I do everything together, she knows me better than I know myself, she's closer to me than...

[Jessica trails off. Behind those Wayfarers, she looks sad.]

I can't even explain it, really. What we share is indescribable. Some people say twins share a special connection. I dunno if other twins do, but me and Liz... well, sometimes I swear she can read my mind. And it sucks being here without her, especially on our birthday. I miss her so much, it's like... it's like something is missing from my life.

[She sighs, then forces a smile. It looks super fake though.]

Oh well, it's a nice enough day. I've got some snacks and a cake if anyone wants to join me.

conflagrations

[ so the video clicks on to just a lot of blonde hair. a lot of blonde hair. that's jessica wakefield. in the bottom of the lens, luffy's straw hat can be seen, and jessica drew's forehead. she picks up the camera, and the network is treated to a glimpse of luffy, wearing this, and jess sitting in the bathtub. ]

Look, I wanna see it before you turn on the camera.

Too late!

[ jessica drew's voice pipes up quietly, "luffy stop touching the shampoo," which is followed by a crash and a loud squawk. johnny is running his fingers critically through his hair, oblivious to whatever trainwreck is happening in his bathtub, and jessica wakefield is smirking proudly. ]

It's almost like my natural color. This is pretty boss, Jessica.

He looks great, right Network? Tell him how great he looks.

[ right before the feed cuts off, jessica drew can be heard saying, "don't eat the conditioner, luffy!" ]

ooc | bolded font is

svhcheerleader and italicized font is

sweetvalleygirl

[Oh no! Your future prom queen looks worried, like she might be on the verge of tears.]

I can't get a hold of Harry. He was supposed to meet me and he didn't and he didn't answer his phone or the door... Has anyone seen him? I'm really worried!

[Jessica closes her eyes, sniffling softly.]

What if he's gone?! Then who'll take me to prom?!

sweetvalleygirl

Harry Osborn, I'm tired of waiting. Your offer better still be good or I will be sorely disappointed.

[Filtered from Laura Kinney]

Okay, so my friend Laura needs a date to prom. In case you don't know her, she's super pretty, kind of quiet, she works out a lot, and she's got a wild fashion sense! So, gentlemen, if you would like to take a gorgeous fox to the prom next month, please list three reasons why you should be picked. Oh and also, where will you take her to make it a night to remember!

sweetvalleygirl

[At first, there's just a few moments of breathing. It sounds labored, shaky. When she finally speaks, Jessica's voice is quivering and low.]

... I'm hurt. I've been attacked.

[A pause, marked by more uneasy breathing.]

I-I need a doctor, I... need help...

[The transmission ends there. Responses will be ICly delayed.]

sweetvalleygirl

[Jessica can just barely be made out, sobbing hysterically as pigeons zoom in and out of the frame. Loose feathers, bird feet, horrible cooing... it's essentially a repeat of the chicken incident.]

-- No! Not again, not again, not again! Get off me! Get away!

[She's swinging at the birds, wildly flailing her arms to try and kick them away. In the process, she kicks the communicator and the transmission ends.]

((ooc: replies will be ic-ly delayed.))

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charlene "charlie" bradbury | n/a - 8 uses
christine stanford | n/a - 3 uses
cole sear | n/a - 1 use
cu chulainn | lancer - 4 uses
damian wayne | robin - 44 uses
danger | n/a - 15 uses
daniel dreiberg | nite owl - 2 uses
daria morgendorffer | melody powers - 13 uses
davesprite | feathery asshole - 13 uses
dr. abel gideon | ???? - 1 use
edward nygma | riddler - 46 uses
eridan ampora | prince of hope - 43 uses
felicia hardy | black cat - 27 uses
frank castle | the punisher - 1 use
frederick chilton | chief of staff!! - 1 use
gemma doyle | n/a - 41 uses
gilbert nightray | n/a - 11 uses
hannibal lecter | alias - 1 use
harleen quinzel | harley quinn - 3 uses
harvey dent | two-face - 46 uses
jack bauer | man of the hour - 34 uses
jason todd | red hood - 52 uses
jenny quantum | eclipse - 15 uses
julian keller | hellion - 27 uses
kanaya maryam | sylph of space - 26 uses
karen starr | power girl - 1 use
karkat vantas | threshecutioner - 17 uses
kate kane | batwoman - 25 uses
kenzi | n/a - 20 uses
kirei kotomine | the overseer - 4 uses
kiritsugu emiya | n/a - 1 use
kotetsu t. kaburagi | wild tiger - 25 uses
kurt wagner | nightcrawler - 29 uses
kyouko sakura | ophelia - 9 uses
lillian crawley-jeffries | diamond lil - 4 uses
minako arisato | the wild card - 13 uses
mitchell hundred | the great machine - 42 uses
molly hooper | n/a - 10 uses
mordin solus | the professor - 6 uses
n/a | archer - 22 uses
n/a | hooded justice - 2 uses
nelson gardner | captain metropolis - 5 uses
nemesis prime | nova prime - 3 uses
nepeta leijon | rogue of heart - 17 uses
nick fury | gemini - 3 uses
nill | n/a - 44 uses
norman osborn | the green goblin - 62 uses
oswald cobblepot | the penguin - 10 uses
peter parker | spider-man - 115 uses
piccolo | n/a - 11 uses
pietro maximoff | quicksilver - 41 uses
renee montoya | n/a - 4 uses
richard swift | the shade - 6 uses
rick bradbury | n/a - 10 uses
rikku | machina maw - 48 uses
rin tohsaka | n/a - 10 uses
rose lalonde | seer of light - 37 uses
rua | deformer - 3 uses
ruka | gallitrap - 50 uses
sanji | mr. prince - 62 uses
scathach | the shadow - 63 uses
steve | superhero steve - 11 uses
terrance ward | trauma - 69 uses
tony stark | iron man - 58 uses
troy barnes | the truest repairman - 7 uses
valeria richards | n/a - 4 uses
yako katsuragi | miss detective - 6 uses
† !—dropped characters—! † - 1829 uses
† abigail boylen | cloud 9 - 8 uses
† agatha heterodyne | the maker - 17 uses
† alberto falcone | holiday - 4 uses
† alex kralie | n/a - 1 use
† alex power | gee - 2 uses
† alexander aaron | phobos - 3 uses
† alucard | n/a - 7 uses
† amanda waller | the wall - 1 use
† anders | n/a - 2 uses
† andromeda tonks | muggle lover - 9 uses
† andy bernard | the nard dog - 15 uses
† angelica einstürzen | dr. einstürzen - 4 uses
† angelica jones | firestar - 33 uses
† annie edison | the day planner - 1 use
† anya corazon | spider-girl - 9 uses
† aoi | the laughing man - 3 uses
† aphrodite | goddess of love - 2 uses
† aquaria nautica neptunia | namora - 7 uses
† aradia megido | maid of time - 19 uses
† aranea serket | sylph of light - 1 use
† archy | n/a - 1 use
† armaros | n/a - 3 uses
† arthur | arthur - 7 uses
† astral | soulbonder - 25 uses
† aurican | the balladeer - 3 uses
† aximili-esgarrouth-isthill | n/a - 1 use
† azazeal | nephilim - 3 uses
† aziraphale | the guardian - 10 uses
† bakura | n/a - 113 uses
† barbara gordon | oracle - 5 uses
† beelzemon | ike beelze - 5 uses
† bellatrix lestrange | n/a - 16 uses
† bender rodriguez | superking - 17 uses
† benjamin grimm | formerly the thing - 1 use
† biff | מה? - 2 uses
† billy batson | captain marvel - 3 uses
† billy | n/a - 2 uses
† blackagar boltagon | black bolt - 2 uses
† bobbi morse | mockingbird - 25 uses
† boston brand | deadman - 1 use
† boy blue | the black knight - 3 uses
† boyd langton | rossum - 33 uses
† brandon sharpe | striker - 5 uses
† brian moser | vanilla ice - 1 use
† bro'dee walker | saint walker - 2 uses
† brooklyn | n/a - 1 use
† bruce banner | hulk - 8 uses
† bruce wayne | batman - 2 uses
† buffy summers | the slayer - 7 uses
† byakuroku | heaven's seat - 3 uses
† candy deconnick | not a fucking import - 4 uses
† candy quackenbush | n/a - 2 uses
† captain jack harkness | captain innuen - 23 uses
† carol danvers | captain marvel - 22 uses
† carrie kelley | catgirl - 26 uses
† cassandra cain | black bat - 34 uses
† cassie holmes | watcher - 20 uses
† cassie | n/a - 2 uses
† ce'nedra | queen of the world - 2 uses
† charles f. xavier | professor x - 18 uses
† charlie gage-radcliffe | misfit - 26 uses
† chell | [redacted] - 5 uses
† chris traeger | sam seaborn - 1 use
† claire bennet | n/a - 4 uses
† clint barton | hawkeye - 25 uses
† cloud strife | n/a - 1 use
† clu 2 | n/a - 2 uses
† colin wilkes | abuse - 1 use
† collette | n/a - 2 uses
† connor hawke | green arrow ii - 1 use
† cross marian | general ginger - 20 uses
† curt connors | n/a - 6 uses
† curtis doyle | freedom ring - 25 uses
† cyd sherman | codex - 3 uses
† czeslaw meyer | n/a - 3 uses
† daimon hellstrom | son of satan - 2 uses
† daisy johnson | quake - 1 use
† daken | n/a - 9 uses
† dave lizewski | kick-ass - 2 uses
† dave strider | knight of time - 19 uses
† david xanatos | magnificent bastard - 13 uses
† dean winchester | n/a - 1 use
† death | n/a - 2 uses
† dennis sommers | ultranova - 2 uses
† desire | n/a - 22 uses
† dexter morgan | the dark passenger - 4 uses
† diana of themyscira | wonder woman - 4 uses
† dick grayson | nightwing - 62 uses
† dirk strider | destroyer of souls - 3 uses
† doctor zoidberg | the lovable tramp - 21 uses
† donna troy | n/a - 18 uses
† dr. franken stein | n/a - 25 uses
† draco malfoy | n/a - 8 uses
† dracula | n/a - 3 uses
† dukat | gul dukat - 4 uses
† eames | the forger - 9 uses
† edward cullen | sparkles - 5 uses
† edward | radical edward - 1 use
† elektra natchios | elektra - 8 uses
† eli bradley | patriot - 1 use
† ellie roosevelt | ghost girl - 1 use
† eloise bradshaw | fugue - 1 use
† erik lehnsherr | magneto - 12 uses
† erika kurumi | cure marine - 1 use
† eugene fitzherbert | flynn rider - 1 use
† evan mcculloch | mirror master - 8 uses
† evan | the firebrand - 9 uses
† eve | miss moneypenny - 1 use
† evilyn killface | killface - 6 uses
† faith lehane | the slayer - 5 uses
† faiza hussain | excalibur - 1 use
† feferi peixes | witch of life - 24 uses
† finn the human | bodaciousest of heroe - 11 uses
† flash thompson | agent venom - 2 uses
† flint marko | sandman - 5 uses
† floyd lawton | deadshot - 8 uses
† floyd pinkerton | pink floyd - 23 uses
† fluttershy | kindheart - 10 uses
† francis billings | spikes - 2 uses
† franklin richards | hyperstorm - 2 uses
† fred weasley | forge - 8 uses
† gamzee makara | mirthful messiahs - 30 uses
† garrus vakarian | the archangel - 15 uses
† geddoe | raijin - 28 uses
† george weasley | gred - 3 uses
† gesicht | n/a - 2 uses
† ggio vega | n/a - 23 uses
† gil marverde | n/a - 1 use
† gil pender | the hollywood hack - 1 use
† ginny weasley | n/a - 5 uses
† glados | n/a - 2 uses
† goku | seitan taisei - 10 uses
† greg lestrade | detective inspector - 4 uses
† gretel | n/a - 8 uses
† gwen stacy | n/a - 27 uses
† hal stewart | tighten - 2 uses
† han solo | scoundrel - 17 uses
† handsome jack | the goddamn hero - 6 uses
† hank mccoy | beast - 38 uses
† hans von hammer | enemy ace - 10 uses
† harper temple | madame mirage - 1 use
† harry potter | n/a - 6 uses
† harry sullivan | n/a - 2 uses
† hartley rathaway | pied piper - 3 uses
† haymitch abernathy | drunkard - 2 uses
† heine rammsteiner | n/a - 1 use
† helena wayne | huntress - 11 uses
† henry jones jr | indiana jones - 1 use
† hercules | n/a - 9 uses
† hikaru sulu | lieutenant badass - 5 uses
† hogan bight | crucible - 3 uses
† homura akemi | n/a - 1 use
† ianto jones | n/a - 5 uses
† ikkaku madarame | third seat - 1 use
† irene adler | the woman - 2 uses
† ironhide | n/a - 2 uses
† isaac bowin | the fiddler - 3 uses
† isaac clarke | fuck-you guy - 1 use
† isabela | rivaini - 9 uses
† iskandar | rider - 4 uses
† iv | asian champion - 1 use
† jack frost | n/a - 2 uses
† jack hawksmoor | king of cities - 2 uses
† jack noir | spades slick - 2 uses
† jack pherson | n/a - 4 uses
† jade chan | t-girl - 1 use
† jade harley | witch of space - 26 uses
† jaime lannister | kingslayer - 3 uses
† jaime reyes | blue beetle - 100 uses
† jake english | page of hope - 7 uses
† james barnes | bucky - 70 uses
† james bond | 007 - 36 uses
† james bradley | doctor nemesis - 2 uses
† james jesse | trickster - 5 uses
† james potter | prongs - 24 uses
† jane crocker | maid of life - 3 uses
† jane vasko | painkiller jane - 6 uses
† jason grace | n/a - 5 uses
† jay | n/a - 4 uses
† jennifer walters | she-hulk - 25 uses
† jerry redmond | true-blue - 2 uses
† jesse sanchez | street angel - 13 uses
† jessica drew | spider-woman - 31 uses
† jessica jones | n/a - 4 uses
† jessica wakefield | the clique - 35 uses
† jim kirk | n/a - 22 uses
† jim moriarty | n/a - 2 uses
† joan holloway (harris) | marilyn monro - 4 uses
† joel weinberg | houston - 39 uses
† johann kraus | agent johann kraus - 1 use
† johann skull | skull brother two - 3 uses
† john egbert | heir of breath - 14 uses
† john morley | ghost - 33 uses
† john watson | n/a - 10 uses
† john | master chief petty officer 117 - 2 uses
† johnny storm | the human torch - 20 uses
† jonathan crane | scarecrow - 68 uses
† joseph wilson | jericho - 2 uses
† joxer | joxer the mighty - 2 uses
† julian day | calendar man - 18 uses
† julian priest | provocateur - 1 use
† julian sark | n/a - 2 uses
† julio richter | rictor - 2 uses
† k.i.t.t. | n/a - 4 uses
† kaito tenjo | daybreaker - 3 uses
† kamui katsuragi | the great kamui - 1 use
† kang | n/a - 8 uses
† kara zor-el | supergirl - 2 uses
† kariya matou | n/a - 2 uses
† karla sofen | moonstone - 17 uses
† kasumi goto | n/a - 3 uses
† kat | gravity queen - 4 uses
† kate bishop | hawkeye - 7 uses
† katie power | energizer - 2 uses
† katniss everdeen | mockingjay - 14 uses
† katurian katurian | the pillowman - 50 uses
† kaylee frye | n/a - 15 uses
† kazuma mikura | stealth - 1 use
† keiko yukimura | again? - 5 uses
† keith anyan | n/a - 30 uses
† kenny mccormick | mysterion - 1 use
† khashoggi | n/a - 3 uses
† khisanth | onyx - 18 uses
† king faraday | n/a - 1 use
† kitty pryde | shroud - 5 uses
† klarion bleak | the witch-boy - 7 uses
† knock out | n/a - 6 uses
† kyo kusanagi | n/a - 6 uses
† kyosuke kiryu | shinigami - 47 uses
† ladd russo | white suit - 9 uses
† lana kane | truckasaurus - 1 use
† larsa solidor | the emperor - 15 uses
† laura kinney | x-23 - 41 uses
† le chiffre | n/a - 1 use
† len snart | captain cold - 2 uses
† lenalee lee | n/a - 2 uses
† leo valdez | flame kid - 4 uses
† leon souryuu | the admiral - 1 use
† leonard mccoy | bones - 1 use
† leonard mccoy | doctor feelgood - 15 uses
† leonard samson | doc samson - 1 use
† leta arias | knock-out - 1 use
† lila fowler | princess - 5 uses
† lily champagne | n/a - 2 uses
† lily evans potter | the doe - 23 uses
† lin beifong | n/a - 3 uses
† lisbeth salander | wasp - 3 uses
† logan | wolverine - 40 uses
† loki laufeyson | n/a - 18 uses
† loki | n/a (matantei loki ragnarok) - 2 uses
† lorna dane | polaris - 3 uses
† luna lovegood | loony - 8 uses
† lust | n/a - 49 uses
† lyra silvertongue | lizzie brooks - 160 uses
† lyra | savage she-hulk - 2 uses
† m'gann m'orzz | miss martian - 2 uses
† madison jeffries | box - 9 uses
† madoka kaname | pink ☆ arrow - 3 uses
† maggie mui | paper sister - 17 uses
† makishima shougo | psycho-pass - 2 uses
† maleficent | the mistress of all evil - 1 use
† mami tomoe | n/a - 1 use
† marc spector | moon knight - 3 uses
† marrina smallwood | leviathan - 1 use
† martin septim | dragonborn - 3 uses
† mary jane watson | the wolfspider - 2 uses
† matt murdock | daredevil - 23 uses
† max dillon | electro - 24 uses
† max gibson | batwoman - 16 uses
† maximus decimus meridius | spaniard - 1 use
† maxwell lord | black king - 6 uses
† may parker | spider-girl - 8 uses
† maya hansen | n/a - 1 use
† megamind | megamind - 8 uses
† michael j. caboose | n/a - 1 use
† michael lane | azrael - 5 uses
† michaelangelo | michael j angelo - 4 uses
† michelle vance | prospect - 1 use
† michiko malandro | the fuck is this - 5 uses
† midii une | n/a - 18 uses
† miles morales | spider-man - 2 uses
† minako aino | sailor venus - 1 use
† mindy macready | hit girl - 11 uses
† mokuba kaiba | n/a - 5 uses
† monet st. croix | m - 2 uses
† monica chang | black widow - 3 uses
† montgomery scott | n/a - 1 use
† n'ton | weyrleader - 2 uses
† n/a | apollo - 17 uses
† n/a | bullseye - 41 uses
† n/a | iv - 2 uses
† n/a | monster in the darkness - 11 uses
† n/a | negotiator - 5 uses
† n/a | raven - 6 uses
† n/a | shatterstar - 3 uses
† n/a | starscream - 5 uses
† n/a | the habit - 7 uses
† n/a | the joker - 2 uses
† n/a | the major - 52 uses
† n/a | the midnighter - 15 uses
† n/a | the narrator - 1 use
† n/a | the pro - 23 uses
† namor mckenzie | the sub-mariner - 30 uses
† namorita prentiss | n/a - 1 use
† nanaja demeter | n/a - 2 uses
† nanaue | king shark - 2 uses
† naoto fuyumine | n/a - 1 use
† naruto uzumaki | tehnmbr1hokageyeah! - 2 uses
† natasha romanov | black widow - 33 uses
† nathan seymour | fire emblem - 2 uses
† ned | the piemaker - 7 uses
† nero | not interested-- - 15 uses
† nick angel | n/a - 2 uses
† nico di angelo | n/a - 1 use
† nina sayers | i'm the swan queen!! - 10 uses
† nymphadora tonks | badger - 23 uses
† nyota uhura | n/a - 4 uses
† oliver queen | green arrow - 6 uses
† olivia dunham | n/a - 7 uses
† owen mercer | captain boomerang - 1 use
† pam poovey | shiro kabocha - 3 uses
† pamela isley | poison ivy - 5 uses
† parker robbins | hood - 21 uses
† peacock | n/a - 3 uses
† peeta mellark | n/a - 2 uses
† pepper potts | n/a - 1 use
† peter petrelli | n/a - 15 uses
† philip j. fry | captain yesterday - 3 uses
† phobos escanor | prince phobos - 2 uses
† pickles | the drummer - 6 uses
† primrose everdeen | duckling - 5 uses
† q | the quartermaster - 2 uses
† quentin quire | kid omega - 17 uses
† ra's al ghul | the demon's head - 2 uses
† rachel grey | marvel girl - 6 uses
† rachel | n/a - 3 uses
† raleigh becket | n/a - 1 use
† raoul silva | n/a - 5 uses
† raphael | n/a - 10 uses
† rapunzel | n/a - 22 uses
† raven darkholme | mystique - 12 uses
† razer | n/a - 3 uses
† reaver | karma houdini - 1 use
† red alert | redford alton - 4 uses
† reed richards | mister fantastic - 2 uses
† reilly tyne | darkdevil - 17 uses
† remington smisse | rogue ruse - 2 uses
† ren suzugamori | the best - 4 uses
† riza hawkeye | riza hawkeye - 1 use
† robert reynolds | the sentry/the void - 14 uses
† roman sionis | black mask - 17 uses
† ron weasley | n/a - 6 uses
† rose wilson | ravager - 5 uses
† roxanne ritchi | n/a - 19 uses
† roxy lalonde | robin hood of void - 9 uses
† roy harper | arsenal - 6 uses
† roy mustang | the flame alchemist - 3 uses
† ryoga kamishiro | shark - 2 uses
† ryusei sakuta | kamen rider meteor - 4 uses
† salem saberhagen | alejaaaaandro! - 2 uses
† sally jupiter | silk spectre i - 1 use
† samara | the justicar - 3 uses
† santo vaccarro | rockslide - 51 uses
† sayaka miki | oktavia - 3 uses
† selina kyle | catwoman - 119 uses
† sentinel prime | mister plow - 2 uses
† seras victoria | n/a - 23 uses
† seto kaiba | n/a - 26 uses
† severus snape | the potion master - 10 uses
† shahrazad al-rahman | the benevolent - 4 uses
† shanks | red hair - 2 uses
† sherlock holmes | the consultant - 25 uses
† shinji ikari | third child - 16 uses
† shinjiro aragaki | n/a - 1 use
† shirley bennett | tattleina - 9 uses
† shirou emiya | ally of justice - 2 uses
† shockwave | n/a - 2 uses
† skaar | killer of killers - 1 use
† skyfire | charles sagan - 9 uses
† slipstream | n/a - 27 uses
† sofia mantega | wind dancer - 14 uses
† soldier blue | n/a - 45 uses
† sollux captor | mage of doom - 4 uses
† soranik natu | n/a - 1 use
† spike | william the bloody - 5 uses
† spock | mr. spork - 1 use
† stephanie brown | batgirl - 26 uses
† stephen strange | dr. strange - 19 uses
† sterling archer | duchess - 2 uses
† steve rogers | captain america - 1 use
† stiles stilinski | the spark - 3 uses
† superboy | n/a - 1 use
† susan storm | invisible woman - 11 uses
† t'challa | black panther - 1 use
† tali'zorah vas normandy | the machinis - 9 uses
† tara maclay | glinda - 3 uses
† tarvek sturmvoraus | the storm king - 3 uses
† tavros nitram | rufio - 18 uses
† ted kord | blue beetle ii - 50 uses
† teddy altman | hulkling - 1 use
† terezi pyrope | seer of mind - 18 uses
† terra | esper - 7 uses
† terry mcginnis | batman - 3 uses
† the (11th) doctor | oncoming storm - 28 uses
† the black queen | snowman - 1 use
† the iron giant | superman - 2 uses
† the stepford cuckoos | n/a - 2 uses
† thomas blake | catman - 17 uses
† thomas elliot | hush - 1 use
† tim drake | red robin - 68 uses
† tim | n/a - 2 uses
† tobias | n/a - 1 use
† tom bronson | wildcat - 11 uses
† tom marvolo riddle | lord voldemort - 6 uses
† tommy sheperd | speed - 6 uses
† tony masters | taskmaster - 1 use
† toph bei fong | blind bandit - 59 uses
† topher brink | n/a - 33 uses
† toshiki kai | n/a - 3 uses
† travis touchdown | n/a - 3 uses
† trowa barton | n/a - 93 uses
† tsubomi hanasaki | cure blossom - 1 use
† urdnot grunt | the savage - 4 uses
† vash | the humanoid typhoon - 2 uses
† vector prime | n/a - 28 uses
† vesper lynd | n/a - 4 uses
† vic sage | the question - 19 uses
† victor mancha | n/a - 5 uses
† victor von doom | doctor doom - 9 uses
† victoria hand | n/a - 1 use
† vivi ornitier | n/a - 28 uses
† vriska serket | thief of light - 16 uses
† wade wilson | deadpool - 38 uses
† wally west | the flash - 5 uses
† wesley wyndam-pryce | watcher - 5 uses
† wheatley | n/a - 2 uses
† will graham | n/a - 1 use
† willow rosenberg | elphaba - 12 uses
† wreck-gar | n/a - 1 use
† xavin | n/a - 38 uses
† yuma tsukumo | unicorn king - 10 uses
† zatanna zatara | zatanna - 33 uses
† zelgadis | greywords - 28 uses
† zelos wilder | the great zelos wilder - 1 use
† zevran arainai | insert innuendo here - 16 uses
† ziggy freecloud | stardust - 9 uses

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