permavid; only registered name on the comm is "spider-man"

[remake]

[ The video is up-side down. It's hard to tell, because the guy in the video is also up-side down, sticking to the shiny, windowed side of an office building by his hand and feet. He looks distinctly spider-man themed, but the design is different and so is the voice. He sounds awful young. ]

Okay. Okay. I'm not freaking out but- [ A pause for some quick, audibly shallow breaths. ] -uh. I might be freaking out? Uh. There's- there's someone else living where my house is supposed to be which is really not cool, and I can't figure out what happened to the Triskelion. I'd like to help y'all out but.

If I had- uh, I don't know, directions maybe I could... knock on the door and get you some r-real- some better heroes. I kind of know Nick Fury? Sort of.

And it sounds like you need that. I-I mean, I can stop muggers and stuff, and I guess like The Ringer and Kangaroo (I'm so not making that up, there's a dude that calls himself "Kangaroo"), but this whole-- this whole alternate dimension thing is way over my head and-

[ Hitched breathing. ] And I'm still... working on it.

Comments

[hulk]

[ You were totally judging him earlier, don't even!!! Least he's judging you for something you do and not your alternate self. :T ]

Uh, th- Pretty sure they're somewhere close to the Porter building, but. Beyond that, not really sure? [ beat because oh yeah this might be a sticking point for the kid ] ...I don't stay there.

[remake]

[ judging that hoodie even now tbh!! SPANDEX FOOTIE PAJAMAS ARE COOL OKAY ]

O-oh. Okay. [ ngl that toally is a sticking point ] Why...?

[hulk]

[ JUDGING YOUR FACE ]

I'm staying w-with, uh. [ ......also probably not a good idea to let the kid know about multiple Hulks ] I have an apartment just outside the City. Commuter.

[remake]

Oh.

[ breathing awkwardly for a second before finally ]

You're really- you never did, uh, that stuff? Even though you're still the Hulk?

[hulk]

[ Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrg why must you ask these questions, Miles? Because Bruce is OF COURSE going to be honest about this. Because if he starts lying about this, he's going to start lying about it to himself, and he can't go and get this off his shoulders. He has to account for his mistakes - all of them. All of them. ]

...I- Not that stuff specifically. There was, uh. I kind of broke Harlem [ then very hurriedly, in order to cut off any potential freaking out on Miles' part: ] but that wasn't my fault and I didn't go and start that, that was more of a rock and a hard place situation because there was already something worse and nothing else was going to be able to stop it, so.

[ Okay, stopping to breathe because. ...Yeah. Holy babbling brooks, Batman. Wait, wrong medium. ]

A-and a... More than a few people got in the way during episodes, at least the first time and more than probably after but. I tried to avoid it, I really, really did, but they just wouldn't leave it alone and.

[ But no, Ross just had to go and keep finding him no matter how hard he tried to hide - but Ross wouldn't have been looking if he hadn't gone and done this to himself. ]

[remake]

[ WOW BRUCE THIS IS HEAVY STUFF FOR A 13 YEAR OLD he just kinda.

s-stares awkwardly.

he has not even the slightest idea what to say, so naturally he goes ahead and makes it worse with the first thing that drops out of his brain and into his mouth: ] H-how many?

[hulk]

[ Weakly: ] I don't know. I don't remember most of what happens while it's. I know there were... Three interns and the two military escorts the first time. Other than that. ...I don't know.

[remake]

[ Miles is clearly spooked by that. He doesn't even know.

But what can he even do about it? He hunches his shoulders, bug-eyed beneath the mask. ]

Uh- uh-- oh.

[hulk]

...Sorry.

[ And he really, really is. :c ]

I j- Figured. Honesty and everything. Best policy.

[hulk]

[ a minute later: ]

Though I've been wrong before.

[ aha. ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. let him die please. ]

[remake]

[ Well that's one glaring difference- the news made a point to say that Bruce Banner, the one of his world, tried to get away with secretly being the Hulk for as long as possible so that's... something..... ] N-no, it's- I mean, my mom always said it. Is.

[hulk]

...Moms usually say some pretty smart stuff.

[ Said this with the SADDEST FUCKING SMILE. ]

[remake]

[ WOW YOU ARE SO UNCOOL RN BRUCE!!! ]

I guess so.

[hulk]

[ .......ARE YOU SEEING WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO MILES

ARE YOU REALLY ]

Very little guessing about it.

[remake]

[ LMFAO PAUSES ] Okay. This is an after-school special now.

How did this become an after-school special.

[hulk]

...I don't know. Usually I get called out on, uh. Being too depressing or too wimpy or. After-school special is new.

[remake]

[ DSFJLEWR TRYING NOT TO LAUGH YOU'RE SUCH A DERP BRUCE ]

This is like-- really. Weird. Totally not what I expected.

[hulk]

[ YEP THAT'S A MORE COMMON REACTION ]

Well, that would probably happen, given, uh. You were expecting me to be dead. Sorry.

[remake]

[ Belatedly realizing what a jerk he was tbqh!!! ] Uh- um. uhhh--

... Sorry.

[hulk]

It's-- Don't worry about it. I've kind o- Not this exact conversation, but close enough pretty much, uh. Every time I ended up talking to someone from your particular, uh. ...Dimension. So.

[remake]

Well you- u-uh he did kinda eat people.

It's.



Memorable...

[hulk]

[ haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ]

That's one word for it.

[remake]

[ gently quiet for a second ]

You're not going to do, uh ...that... here, right?

[hulk]

[ I'm going to start a drinking game - a shot every time the word 'gently' shows up in Miles-meta. It'll be glorious. ]

No.

[ Yep, he's totally had to go and answer this question before. Can you tell. ]

[remake]

[ WOW STOP JUDGING ME SAMMO YOU'RE A JERK!!! ]

R-right. Okay.