video;

[amoray]

[the feed is underwater, and not immediately focused on eridan (though his cape does drift slightly into view here and there). few, if any, will recognize the atlantean palace or its throne room, but the architecture and the being underwater thing might tip them off.]

Considerin' it's been about a week or so now, and I hawen't seen skin nor scale a her, it's pretty safe to say that Namora a Atlantis ain't roamin' these waters no more.

[a pause.]

That bein' said, as the last sea dweller and the only indiwidual who ain't got garbage slippin' through their weins around here, it's only natural that I take ower their palace and assorted territories in their absence. Maintain 'em and such.

Aforementioned territories bein' all sewen seas and ewerythin' in between, for the record.

[he flips the camera away from a meandering lionfish (his name is xerxes the sewenth) and to himself, comfortably sprawled in namor's throne. and being smug as a motherfucker. like literally, he's been super smug about shit before but at the moment his smugness may be mutating surrounding sealife just by how goddamn potent it is.

the lay of his cape obscures the slight bulges under his clothing at his shoulder and leg, for the most part, but his left fin is visibly torn, and still an angry purple.]

As fair and generous warnin', I'm allowin' the humans continued usage a my oceans not outta goodwill, but outta necessity. Mostly since you lungbreathers would probably start whinin' your tailfins off about widespread starwation or some shit if I didn't. But if I start seein' anythin' I don't necessarily like happenin' in my waters, I won't hesitate to fuck some a your laughable tin can ships all manner a up 'til the message starts comin' through clearer-like.

I ain't currently acceptin' wirgin sacrifices or tributes a precious metals and stones, but be watchin' for that in the future.

[he gives a little wave of his ringed fingers at the comm.]

Ewenin', dirtscrapers. And long liwe the Prince.

[end feed.]

Comments

[amoray]

And what's superwillain mentorin' like, exactly?

[enigmaestro]

Cognitive and performance training. Tactical analysis, strategy, form and art.

[amoray]

How high is my risk a bein' horribly mutilated and do I get a costume?

[enigmaestro]

Given your currents skills and behavioral patterns, I'd put you in the eightieth percentile for mutilation likelihood. And yes, you do get a costume.

[amoray]

Count me in.

[enigmaestro]

So that's what we'll have then? [A beat.] I'll mentor you?

[Because that's exactly what he wanted from the penultimate time they talked





he considers this smugly.]

[amoray]

I'll be grantin' you the honor, yeah.

[enigmaestro]

Oh, that's what it is?

[amoray]

Sure. I can't help bein' so damn generous.

It's a curse, really.

[enigmaestro]

The falsehoods there were simply overwhelming.

[amoray]

When you're designin' my costume, remember I ain't such a fan a green. And we ain't in the business a makin' people think I'm your sidekick or anythin' either.

[enigmaestro]

First, I'm reformed. Second -- villains don't have sidekicks. We have henches. And third, the whole point of another identity is that you create it entirely.

I'm not designing your costume for you.

[amoray]

How'd you pick yours?

[enigmaestro]

Green and purple represent traits I value and sought to incorporate into my identity: intellect, sophistication and mystery. The forms itself changed with... Experimentation.

YOUR JOKE TAGS ARE STILL THE BEST

[amoray]

Got any examples a these so-called "forms"?

aw yeah booger jokes never get crusty

[enigmaestro]

[Beat.]

Well.

[Beat.]

The fabric, for one, defines the form. Whether it's a suit and tie or... Spandex...

[amoray]

...Spandex.

[judging]

[enigmaestro]

You wear a goddamn cape. As normal clothing.

[amoray]

Spandex. Holy shit.

[enigmaestro]

I was younger. I was twenty.

[amoray]

Holy fuck, how the fuck did anybody ewer let you liwe that one down?

I mean, that must of been somethin' like thirty years ago. I bet you got a couple a nemeses who were around long enough to remember.

[enigmaestro]

It was sixteen years ago!

[amoray]

You were a superwillain for fifteen or so years?

[beat.]

How the fuck are you ewen still aliwe right now?

[enigmaestro]

I've technically been reformed for a few years now. Four, with three years in the City.

[Yeah real shame he doesn't last that long in canon THANKS A LOT LAST ISSUES OF THE DCU]

And that's what I'll teach you, as well. Survival.

You'll need a new set of skills for this game.

[amoray]

[CONTINUES SHAKING FIST AT DC]

So what's the endgame for this little course a yours, exactly? What's the goal?

And what do you get outta it?