[text]

[onmyneck]

It's disappointing that the future has yet to give up on some of the barbaric, uncivilized customs of the past. The high school prom, for instance.

And with prom season coming up on this summer's social calendar, I'm spoiled for choice on which of my many outfits I should wear. I do have my signature style of staying at home and watching a marathon of Ice Road Truckers, but I wouldn't want to show anyone up. Adolescence is a tricky time.

In case some of the older members of this network feel left out, feel free to tell us about your experiences at prom. The most awkward story wins a t-shirt.

Comments

[onmyneck]

A cactus plantation. Cacti of Truth.

[glowsferatu]

I Imagine Its A Satirical Title

[onmyneck]

Stop shooting down my dreams.

[glowsferatu]

They Dont Seem Unlike LAtex Orbs Full Of Little More Than Air And Dishonest Air At That
Coming Inadvisably To Rest On The Receptacle Of Needles Employed In The Work Of A Seamstress
The Result Is Inevitable

[onmyneck]

That extended metaphor really made me think about my life choices.

[glowsferatu]

Yes Well
Good
Im Pleased To Hear My Words Have Been Oh Wait Youre Using Sarcasm

[onmyneck]

This calls for a parade.

[glowsferatu]

No One Enjoys A Facetious Parade
Why Would You Even Suggest It

[onmyneck]

I would say back to square one, but I don't think we even got there. Back to line segment one, maybe.

[glowsferatu]

Well Now Im Just Completely Lost

[onmyneck]

Good thing I'm using a road map to make my prom shoes.

[glowsferatu]

As Coating I Hope And Not The Actual Base

[onmyneck]

Nope. Just road maps and string. I'm going for a more rustic look.

[glowsferatu]

With All Due Respect
Which Is A Quantity Wherein At This Moment Has Been Decided To Be Entirely Negligible
The Knowledge Of Fashion You Here Display Can Be Confirmed As Measuring To A Veritable Fuck All

[onmyneck]

Unfashionable is the new black.

[glowsferatu]

Your Authority On The Subject Is Clearly Evident What Came Over Me To Think I Could Dare Argue

[onmyneck]

Maybe someone is spiking the water supply.

[glowsferatu]

That Or Something In The Blood Perhaps
Its Skewing My Perspective To Inspire A Sudden Unreasonable Intolerance For Stupid And Ugly Ideas
I Suppose It Would Be Better If I Starved Myself So As To Blindly Conform To Your Terrible Ideas Without Raising A Single Critical Thought
Maybe We Could Feature You In The Magazine They Could Hire You As My Superior Since That Is Clearly Where You Belong

[onmyneck]

Only if you airbrush me into a blonde.

[glowsferatu]

Oh I Wasnt Referring To Modeling If Youre To Become The Senior Officer To The Junior I Present
Besides Only Two Of Our Models Are Blond And Donna Isnt Especially Fond Of The Practice Of Overly Editing The Imagery Over Digital Means

[onmyneck]

And what sort of magazine is this?

[glowsferatu]

Its A Publication Concerned With Fashion And Current Events As They Relate To The Community Of Those Imported From Other Timelines
Im Sure Youd Fit Right In

[onmyneck]

And current events would mean which import boy has the best looking supersuit? Or is this more up market?

[glowsferatu]

Theres Certainly More To It Than Fashion Despite That Being A Primary Factor And One Most Relevant To My Own Concern
"Human Interest" I Believe Is The Term But It Strikes Me As Somewhat Reductive

[onmyneck]

Just how interesting is this human interest?