video;

[amoray]

[the feed is underwater, and not immediately focused on eridan (though his cape does drift slightly into view here and there). few, if any, will recognize the atlantean palace or its throne room, but the architecture and the being underwater thing might tip them off.]

Considerin' it's been about a week or so now, and I hawen't seen skin nor scale a her, it's pretty safe to say that Namora a Atlantis ain't roamin' these waters no more.

[a pause.]

That bein' said, as the last sea dweller and the only indiwidual who ain't got garbage slippin' through their weins around here, it's only natural that I take ower their palace and assorted territories in their absence. Maintain 'em and such.

Aforementioned territories bein' all sewen seas and ewerythin' in between, for the record.

[he flips the camera away from a meandering lionfish (his name is xerxes the sewenth) and to himself, comfortably sprawled in namor's throne. and being smug as a motherfucker. like literally, he's been super smug about shit before but at the moment his smugness may be mutating surrounding sealife just by how goddamn potent it is.

the lay of his cape obscures the slight bulges under his clothing at his shoulder and leg, for the most part, but his left fin is visibly torn, and still an angry purple.]

As fair and generous warnin', I'm allowin' the humans continued usage a my oceans not outta goodwill, but outta necessity. Mostly since you lungbreathers would probably start whinin' your tailfins off about widespread starwation or some shit if I didn't. But if I start seein' anythin' I don't necessarily like happenin' in my waters, I won't hesitate to fuck some a your laughable tin can ships all manner a up 'til the message starts comin' through clearer-like.

I ain't currently acceptin' wirgin sacrifices or tributes a precious metals and stones, but be watchin' for that in the future.

[he gives a little wave of his ringed fingers at the comm.]

Ewenin', dirtscrapers. And long liwe the Prince.

[end feed.]

Comments

[enigmaestro]

No, because I'm not foolish enough to get cornered in a bathroom.

[YEAH ONLY LOCKERS OKAY

lots of lockers]

I hope you pick a school with a cute uniform. One that's navy blue.

[amoray]

Oh, I plan to. I'll stroll right outta a fuckin' Brooks Brothers catalogue, loafers and all. There'll be so much fuckin' nawy on me that if Eq ewer drags his stinkin' hide back in here he'll start sweatin' so hard ain't nothin' but his mouth is gonna be dry.

[LOOK AT THE ENDS HE WILL GO TO SPITE YOU, EDDIE]

Figure I'll hawe some trouble on account a bein' a imPort, but nothin' I can't handle. And I'll make sure to tell you how the upper crust goes about its schoolfeedin', since I know you're goin' to be so damn curious.

[enigmaestro]

I hope it comes with a little sailor hat, too.

[gently ignores that upper crust comment eridan]

[amoray]

I'll make sure to get two so you can play pretend when nobody's lookin'.

[DOES NOT NOTICE AT ALL]

LKAJSDLMASDMKALJKLAJSDKKLA

[enigmaestro]

Is that what you think I do, when no one's looking? Play dress up?

HE CAN'T HELP BEING GENEROUS!!

[amoray]

It's not like you ain't got a history of it or anythin'.

[the spandex onesie........]

he is a noble soul

[enigmaestro]

Which I do -- did -- when people were looking. Which is the whole point!

[Fuming beat!]

But it doesn't matter, does it? I'm not a supervillain any longer, so there's no need to assume behavioral patterns to me.

c|8'|

[amoray]

A course you ain't. You let the younger crowd take ower, which - I really gotta say here, Ed - was a good idea. Fresh ideas and all that.

[this is like the tone equivalent of winking slyly.]

c]8)

[enigmaestro]

Younger crowd -- you can't mean you? Can you? I mean, Eridan really, you're more than a bit of a novice at this game.

[amoray]

What's it matter? You're retired.

It ain't your problem anymore, and you ain't exactly mentorin' me in the ways a bein' a fuckin' superwillain or anythin'.

[enigmaestro]

Something which can be negotiable, actually.

[amoray]

[long beat.]

Can it, now.

[enigmaestro]

It's not like you don't show the the aptitude, as you've so recently demonstrated. I could work with that, you know, in a meaningful manner.

[amoray]

And what's superwillain mentorin' like, exactly?

[enigmaestro]

Cognitive and performance training. Tactical analysis, strategy, form and art.

[amoray]

How high is my risk a bein' horribly mutilated and do I get a costume?

[enigmaestro]

Given your currents skills and behavioral patterns, I'd put you in the eightieth percentile for mutilation likelihood. And yes, you do get a costume.

[amoray]

Count me in.

[enigmaestro]

So that's what we'll have then? [A beat.] I'll mentor you?

[Because that's exactly what he wanted from the penultimate time they talked





he considers this smugly.]

[amoray]

I'll be grantin' you the honor, yeah.

[enigmaestro]

Oh, that's what it is?

[amoray]

Sure. I can't help bein' so damn generous.

It's a curse, really.

[enigmaestro]

The falsehoods there were simply overwhelming.

[amoray]

When you're designin' my costume, remember I ain't such a fan a green. And we ain't in the business a makin' people think I'm your sidekick or anythin' either.

[enigmaestro]

First, I'm reformed. Second -- villains don't have sidekicks. We have henches. And third, the whole point of another identity is that you create it entirely.

I'm not designing your costume for you.