video;

[amoray]

[the feed is underwater, and not immediately focused on eridan (though his cape does drift slightly into view here and there). few, if any, will recognize the atlantean palace or its throne room, but the architecture and the being underwater thing might tip them off.]

Considerin' it's been about a week or so now, and I hawen't seen skin nor scale a her, it's pretty safe to say that Namora a Atlantis ain't roamin' these waters no more.

[a pause.]

That bein' said, as the last sea dweller and the only indiwidual who ain't got garbage slippin' through their weins around here, it's only natural that I take ower their palace and assorted territories in their absence. Maintain 'em and such.

Aforementioned territories bein' all sewen seas and ewerythin' in between, for the record.

[he flips the camera away from a meandering lionfish (his name is xerxes the sewenth) and to himself, comfortably sprawled in namor's throne. and being smug as a motherfucker. like literally, he's been super smug about shit before but at the moment his smugness may be mutating surrounding sealife just by how goddamn potent it is.

the lay of his cape obscures the slight bulges under his clothing at his shoulder and leg, for the most part, but his left fin is visibly torn, and still an angry purple.]

As fair and generous warnin', I'm allowin' the humans continued usage a my oceans not outta goodwill, but outta necessity. Mostly since you lungbreathers would probably start whinin' your tailfins off about widespread starwation or some shit if I didn't. But if I start seein' anythin' I don't necessarily like happenin' in my waters, I won't hesitate to fuck some a your laughable tin can ships all manner a up 'til the message starts comin' through clearer-like.

I ain't currently acceptin' wirgin sacrifices or tributes a precious metals and stones, but be watchin' for that in the future.

[he gives a little wave of his ringed fingers at the comm.]

Ewenin', dirtscrapers. And long liwe the Prince.

[end feed.]

Comments

[enigmaestro]

That's my little ray of sunshine.

[amoray]

Weak. I'm gettin' eel ower here.

[enigmaestro]

Of coral I can waves the sandbar, if you're going to be a bait and switch about it. I thought you'd appre-sea-ate the purpoisefully eased concrustacean instead of slamming in with wordplay mussels.

[amoray]

...I can't tell if you're punnin' at me or comin' onto me here.

[wait there wasn't anything notably punny in that response.]

Which explains a whole hell of a lot with how you ended up anglin' Norm.

[BOOM]

[enigmaestro]

Oh, cutting. Way to be a chum...













Bucket.

[amoray]

I hope that took care a your pun quota for the next fuckin' month.

[enigmaestro]

I won't make any promises. But tell me, Eridan, what are you getting out of this?

[amoray]

I missed bullshittin' with you.

[which is eridan for "i missed you" which is obviously the most feelsy thing he will ever have to say on the matter.]

[enigmaestro]

So we're looking at something that involves the other's company?

[amoray]

I'd like to be able to sit down and hawe coffee with you without gettin' my probably dead cat's unmentionables tossed at me, yeah.

[enigmaestro]

Mm, I could make Ninnian a Schrodinger, couldn't I?

[Tempting beat.]

But to what end, really? No, Ninnian isn't dead. Though, as you noted, he won't be siring anything any time soon.

What about living arrangements?

[amoray]

Surprisin'. I figured you would of snapped his neck and sent me a new fur scarf when you realized I wasn't puttin' up with your riddlin' bullshit.

[he pauses, rubbing his eyes.]

I hawe Quen's, Ap's, and the palace. If you can get it arranged, I'll come ower for the tutors and then piss off back to my own stompin' grounds afterwards.

Minimize the whole family angle, since I know how fussy you get about it.

[enigmaestro]

Oh. Oh my. As your not at all father figure, I'm not really going to be able to house a young man in my home for odd hours during the day, even for the sake of private education that costs me money.

So, have fun this autumn in public school.


[A beat. And like A TOUCH more gently:] I did it, you can too.

[amoray]

[in a gravely offended tone of indignation:]

Like hell.

[enigmaestro]

Well.

[He can see this argument isn't going to go anywhere.]

So is Karkat growing caliginous for you?

[amoray]

I can fund my way into a priwate school with fuckin' doubloons, Ed. Don't think I won't.

[a malcontent beat, as he considers.]

And I can't tell. Probably.

I'm gettin' hit on somethin' fierce by that friend a Quen's up there and this... [doot doot checking comm names] ..."Richards" guy down there, so he better make up his fuckin' mind soon. He's got competition.

[enigmaestro]

Oh yes, private school, because that's so much better. Please, for my amusement, choose a Catholic one.

[Basically Eddie will always despise elitism that he isn't allowed to be elite in.]

I see.

[Said amazingly deadpan because that's how you repress falsehoods.]

Well.

Who would you prefer?

[amoray]

I got no preferences at the moment. They ain't really prowed themselwes worthy a my attentions or anythin

[a verbal shrug.]

And it's still better than gettin' my head dunked in toilets in a public school.

[





LONG BEAT.]

Oh sorry, that one hit a little too close to hiwe for you?

[enigmaestro]

No, because I'm not foolish enough to get cornered in a bathroom.

[YEAH ONLY LOCKERS OKAY

lots of lockers]

I hope you pick a school with a cute uniform. One that's navy blue.

[amoray]

Oh, I plan to. I'll stroll right outta a fuckin' Brooks Brothers catalogue, loafers and all. There'll be so much fuckin' nawy on me that if Eq ewer drags his stinkin' hide back in here he'll start sweatin' so hard ain't nothin' but his mouth is gonna be dry.

[LOOK AT THE ENDS HE WILL GO TO SPITE YOU, EDDIE]

Figure I'll hawe some trouble on account a bein' a imPort, but nothin' I can't handle. And I'll make sure to tell you how the upper crust goes about its schoolfeedin', since I know you're goin' to be so damn curious.

[enigmaestro]

I hope it comes with a little sailor hat, too.

[gently ignores that upper crust comment eridan]

[amoray]

I'll make sure to get two so you can play pretend when nobody's lookin'.

[DOES NOT NOTICE AT ALL]

LKAJSDLMASDMKALJKLAJSDKKLA

[enigmaestro]

Is that what you think I do, when no one's looking? Play dress up?

HE CAN'T HELP BEING GENEROUS!!

[amoray]

It's not like you ain't got a history of it or anythin'.

[the spandex onesie........]

he is a noble soul

[enigmaestro]

Which I do -- did -- when people were looking. Which is the whole point!

[Fuming beat!]

But it doesn't matter, does it? I'm not a supervillain any longer, so there's no need to assume behavioral patterns to me.