voice;

[amoray]

So.

Any a you ewer had a nemesis before? Like fated fuckin' contentiousness, always gettin' up each others' gills doin' shit just to irritate 'em, duelin' to practically the death, maybe makin' out a little, that kinda thing.

See, I'm in the market for just that particular arrangement, and while I'm personally a master of the bellicose arts and don't need any adwice or nothin', I obwiously got a wested interest in how humans go about poorly imitatin' the quadrant. What with my bein' the main troll-human confidante in these parts and such.

[he pronounces it "con-fee-dawn-tay". also he means intermediary.]

Despite most of you bein' from a society bearin' a sewerely inferior romance system and therefore gettin' your emotions all scrambled up wrong from the get-go 'cos of it, I'd appreciate hearin' some personal tales.

Comments

voice;

[amoray]

[IT SEEMS LIKE HE'S LISTENING TO ALL OF THAT

IT REALLY DOES

but then]

Yeah, okay, that's nice.

Now tell Rose to stop tellin' me to fuckin' showe my tongue down your throat, since I know that's what she's anglin' after up there.

voice;

[crab]

I'm going to shove my foot up your ass. Do you think if I knew how to do that I wouldn't have done it already?

voice;

[amoray]

Try harder.

[beat.]

And while you're at it, you can stop talkin' about puttin' parts a your own personal self in any a my orifices. Goddamn.

voice;

[crab]

Are we really going down this road again? Again? Can I not make a single inflammatory comment in your direction without you taking it as a come on? You have known me for sweeps Eridan, for fuck's sake, how are you not used to this by now?!

voice;

[amoray]

Can you try not makin' so damn many of 'em people could take wrong?

I'm more used to it than basically any other brinesucker stompin' the sands in these parts, but that don't mean anybody else is.

COMMENT NOT HERE;

[caprihorn]

[But Gamzee has snickered in triumph because of the brinesucker comment being used again, even if he really shouldn't.]

voice;

[crab]

If you keep whining about it I'm going to start waxing poetic about the parts of my own personal self I'm going to jam up your various orifices.

voice;

[amoray]

[a long beat.












then, very deliberately:]

So do it. You know, if you ain't all fuckin' talk, which you are. Otherwise I'll whine all I fuckin' feel like.

voice; there are actual tears in my eyes jsyk

[crab]

[ oh








no.

he's cornered. eridan thew the gauntlet. it's either back down and look like a fool or go ahead with it. this was not the plan! there is a long pause on his end, and then a deep breath before; ]

Oh, you think I'm all fucking talk? How about when your blister tube is pulsating around my throb stalk? I'll ram my fist down your throat, not even trying to showboat. We're just getting fucking started, make sure those crusty ocular shutters are parted. You're going to want to be paying real god damn good attention, when my prongs up your snot tubes teach you the meaning of castigation. Don't make me get redundant, I'll shove the other foot up your chute cause you're repugnant. And if you're still attempting to whine, that hate stem crushing your noisebox is sure as hell going to be mine. Shit, maybe you can't hear, understandable when you've got my claws in your ears. Be grateful we haven't discussed your nook, shit bro you're not even going to want to look. Any orifices left? They're going to suffer my heaving bulge's heft. Are we fucking clear Ampora, or are you going to ask me for an encore?

[ HE JUST

RAPPED

ABOUT PUTTING PARTS OF HIS OWN PERSONAL SELF IN ERIDAN AMPORA'S ORIFICES

WHAT IS HE EVEN DOING WITH HIS LIFE. ]

[enigmaestro]

You do realize this is all public, yes?

[crab]

[ LJHKLDFLKGHJKJDGFM; ]

Oh my god! This doesn't concern you!

[enigmaestro]

The fact doesn't make your, ah, poetic expression any less public.

And exposed.

And deeply, deeply irrevocable.

[crab]

[ STRANGLED NOISES OF DISTRESS AND FRUSTRATION. ]

You're never going to stop giving me shit for this, are you?

VOICE; He's probably looking for Karkat in the house

[caprihorn]

[Gamzee doesn't stare at this, doesn't even slightly pause, instead almost the second this is over he immediately says:]

_Bro, why haven't you been rapping like this with myself? _{This is some wicked shit.}

But, you all ought get to saving special insults like this for some motherfucker you actually got black feelings for. _{Just going to to keep giving Eridan the wrong impression if you keep at this shit.}

voice;

[crab]

Oh my god, this was not an invitation for every obnoxious shitwheel piece of idiot rubble to come leaping forward with their two boondollars! I was not rapping, I will never rap, rapping is not a thing that just occurred here! And I'm not flirting with him either for that matter!

[caprihorn]

Karkat, I know raps. _{You all fuckin' up and made some wicked rhymes} and kicked some wicked noise there. _{That's a rap, bro.}

And didn't say you were flirting just know how he's gonna all take shit is all.

LMFALDSAFLDFALKDSF

[amoray]

[OH






SNAP.

no he starts of with some strangled noise that's supposed to be words and then just hangs up.]

[crab]

[ whether eridan replies or not he gets this text: ]

I WIN.

[amoray]

im sorry i wwas so incredibly fuckin embarrassed by that showw a ass draggin all ovver my fuckin post that i had to collect my faculties
ill get back to you wwhen it aint so fuckin humiliatin secondhand just to look at th







nope still awwful

NOT HERE.

[nitidus]

[IF SHE HAD A SHIPPING WALL, SHE WOULD BE WRITING THE WORD SOON UNDER IT. LIKE THIS: SOON. ]

not here

[crab]

[ ROSE PLEASE GO. ]

voice.

[nitidus]

[TRYING NOT TO SOUND EVEN A LITTLE BIT SMUG: ]

You are the most romantic troll I have the pleasure of knowing, Karkat. I hope you invite me to the wedding or hand fasting. I will wear my finest little black number.

voice

[necronomicod]

Um.

Karcrab, that's!

...you know we can see this, right.

voice;

[crab]

I have been made painfully glubbing aware of that fact, Feferi, yes.

voice;

[necronomicod]

Juuust checking!

...if it makes you feel any betta I thought it was pretty funny!