voice;

[amoray]

So.

Any a you ewer had a nemesis before? Like fated fuckin' contentiousness, always gettin' up each others' gills doin' shit just to irritate 'em, duelin' to practically the death, maybe makin' out a little, that kinda thing.

See, I'm in the market for just that particular arrangement, and while I'm personally a master of the bellicose arts and don't need any adwice or nothin', I obwiously got a wested interest in how humans go about poorly imitatin' the quadrant. What with my bein' the main troll-human confidante in these parts and such.

[he pronounces it "con-fee-dawn-tay". also he means intermediary.]

Despite most of you bein' from a society bearin' a sewerely inferior romance system and therefore gettin' your emotions all scrambled up wrong from the get-go 'cos of it, I'd appreciate hearin' some personal tales.

Comments

video; encrypted

[amoray]

Who says I'm uncomfortable with that?

[oh no one-upsmanship]

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

My falsehood detection?


Logic?

video; encrypted

[amoray]

Eh. Wouldn't go so far as sayin' uncomfortable; it's more wague distaste than anythin', really.

I mean, I got nothin' against cannibalism or whatewer, but you got that gross fuckin' candy blood and it kinda ruins the whole thing for me.

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

You have nothing against cannibalism. [so deadpan.] Is this experience speaking? Have you eaten "wrigglers" before?

[OOOOOH CRONUS REFERENCEEEEEEEEEEEE KINDA]

Regardless, inspiring vague distaste is still better than leaving you content.

video; encrypted

[amoray]

I'we had grub paste same as ewerybody, yeah.

Actually, there's a sizable market concernin' shit made outta wigglers and related parts, but - you know - I don't actually giwe a shit enough to be explainin' it to you in detail, so whatewer.

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

I can't believe you've found a topic that forces us discussing mutual innuendo into a comparatively favorable light.

video; encrypted

[amoray]

I'm not followin'.

video; encrypted 1/2

[enigmaestro]

I would rather pretend your prior depiction of my corpse was some deeply depraved wink-nudge than contemplate it in the context of your knack for cannibalism. And, moreover, baby cannibalism.

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

You can't devour infant juices, Eridan!









How highly unsanitary.

video; encrypted

[amoray]

Newer really had a taste for grub juice anyhow, to be honest.

[MAY OR MAY NOT BE JUST FUCKING WITH HIM AT THIS POINT with completely true albeit repulsive facts]

I don't know, I wasn't a fan a the consistency. The bones were soft an' ewerythin' so it wasn't too bad, it was just kinda... thick.

Now grub sauce - you'd hawe to be fuckin' crazy not to stomach that shit. Unless you feel like, I dunno, go gettin' yourself gutted tryin' to hunt some fauna or some shit.

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

I'm going to start doing things you hate if you don't stop.

video; encrypted

[amoray]

What, ain't got the stomach for it?

[SMUG...]

If you can't handle grub sauce, then god damn, that'd make for one disappointin' as fuck troll. Repulsiwe jadeblood or otherwise. Thought you was made a sterner stuff, honestly.

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

[He glowers, gritting his teeth. Clenching them. Then -- abruptly, Edward

painfully

smiles.]

Eridan. Your hair looks less embarrassing -- or, rather. Elegant. Today.

video; encrypted

[amoray]

[he raises his eyebrows.]

Well look at that - somebody's finally growin' some taste.

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

It just frames your -- [He rolls his eyes. Whoops, still on camera, Eddie shoves his palm over it, to cover those pesky facial expression leaks. Hey this is hard!] -- Romanesque jawline so well. You're really.

Developing.




As a specimen.

video; encrypted

[amoray]

[oh.]

Are you fuckin' serious.

[ARE YOU REALLY DOING THIS EDDIE PLS]

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

[OH THANK GOD IT'S UPSETTING HIM. That gears Eddie into motion.]

What can I say? It's shocking that you have so few suitors -- [pushing his luck] -- since, ah, well clearly they can't comprehend your aesthetics.

video; encrypted

[amoray]

[eddiE NO]

Holy fuckin' shit stop.

[LEANING BACK IN HIS SEAT, RUBBING HIS EYES.]

The only person you're embarrassin' the shit outta here is your own damn self, for the record. I don't ewen care.

[totally cares]

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

[Eddie removes his palm, grinning into the camera.]

Now we both know that isn't true. Come on, Eridan, what's the matter? Can't an att -- attrac -- physically undamaged gentlemen such as yourself be admired?

video; encrypted

[amoray]

What the fuck do you mean physically undamaged?

[YOU KNOW WHAT WORKS AS A GOOD DISTRACTION?

AIMLESS RAGING

he drops his hand and addresses the camera directly, jabbing an aubergine nail.]

I'm a fuckin' Romanesque ass specimen a high society, you can bet your god damn nonexistent float bladder I'm attractiwe.

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

Well I suppose you're technically damaged, because I shot that hole in your fin. So I can't really say that in good faith, can I?

[wait wait focus HE IS SO CLOSE TO PROVING HIS POINT. Eddie's mouth staggers and he clears his throat.]

Perhaps I should rephrase?

But of course. You're stately and mannered, and you'll probably get taller perhaps, what isn't there to like?

video; encrypted

[amoray]

Okay yeah no, now I know you're just bullshittin' me, so you can fuckin' cut this cagey line a humor or whatewer it is you're tryin' to pull here 'cos it ain't workin'.

[translation: EDDIE STAHHHHP]

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

Oh, isn't it? Because what do I see before me, if not a flustered, disoriented and at least mildly confused fellow who seems rather reminiscent of a fawn before burning headlights?

So I ask you, Eridan: who's squeamish now?

video; encrypted

[amoray]

There's a difference between waguely flustered and squeamish.

Squeamish is bein' too much of a fuckin' human baby to talk about the consistency a grub juice.

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

Your eyes are pretty.