[text]

[onmyneck]

My New Year's Resolutions:

1) Exercise more. Preferably, exercise my right to die of heart disease at a young age.

2) Be more friendly. Ensure that no one will suspect my eventual betrayal.

3) Learn a language. I'm leaning towards incomprehensible gibberish or pig latin.

4) Get a tattoo of my own face on top of my current face. See if anyone spots the difference.

5) Never give up. There's always something to watch on TV.

Comments

[glowsferatu]

Be Careful Not To Aim Too High Now
You Wont Always Take Flight But Its Impossible To Miss The Ground

[onmyneck]

If that came from a poster with a cat, a dolphin or a horse on it, I'm not continuing this conversation.

[glowsferatu]

Id Hate To Visualize The Imagery Necessary Of Either Beast If Coupled With Such A Phrase
It Wouldnt Come Out Any Way That Isnt Especially Gruesome

[onmyneck]

Pegasi count as a horse.

[glowsferatu]

Yeah But A Failure To Fly Was Kind Of The Point

[onmyneck]

Pegasi aren't real. The message still stands.

[glowsferatu]

You Brought Them Up
My Message Never Involved Pegasi Whatsoever
They Would Be Counter-Productive To Its Intention

[onmyneck]

I'd prefer a conversation about pegasi.

[glowsferatu]

Well Now Youre Just Being Inconsistent
One Minute You Refuse To Continue A Conversation Involving Horses And Now Youd Prefer To Discuss Pegasi
Maybe Youd Like To Soar After All

[onmyneck]

Have you considered a career as a psychoanalyst?

[glowsferatu]

Hardly My Style
Id Likely Inspire More Complexes Than I Would Treat

[onmyneck]

I'm sure you would be an expert Freudian psychiatrist then.

[glowsferatu]

But Psychology Isnt A Field I Have Any Kind Of Expertise In
At Best I Could Only Be A Dabbler

[onmyneck]

Then you're already halfway there.

[glowsferatu]

No Journey Is Halfway To Completion After Only A Single Step

[onmyneck]

Did you get that from a coffee cup?

[glowsferatu]

Yes Actually
It Was Very Upset That Someone Had Decided To Give Up On Walking From The Coffee Maker To The Table And So Had Simply Dropped It On The Floor
So Then It Proceeded To Regale Me With This Sad Tale When I Came In To Clean It Up

[onmyneck]

Do you remember when I was the one who sounded insane?

[glowsferatu]

Was Implies A Past Tense

[onmyneck]

I'm usually very sensible.

[glowsferatu]

Im Not Going To Bother Typing Out The Incredulous Laughter So Lets Just Both Start From The Assumption That Its There
For A Supposedly Sensible Person You Have A Very Notable Fondness For Nonsense

[onmyneck]

Nonsense is in the eye of the beholder.

[glowsferatu]

Not To Mention The Mouths Of The Irrational

[onmyneck]

And the nostrils of the apathetic.

[glowsferatu]

Oh Theyd Hardly Be Able To Smell It
I Know I Cant