[text]

[onmyneck]

It's disappointing that the future has yet to give up on some of the barbaric, uncivilized customs of the past. The high school prom, for instance.

And with prom season coming up on this summer's social calendar, I'm spoiled for choice on which of my many outfits I should wear. I do have my signature style of staying at home and watching a marathon of Ice Road Truckers, but I wouldn't want to show anyone up. Adolescence is a tricky time.

In case some of the older members of this network feel left out, feel free to tell us about your experiences at prom. The most awkward story wins a t-shirt.

Comments

[onmyneck]

I wonder if I can write an essay on that. I'm sure someone will give me extra credit.

[glowsferatu]

If Its Relevant To The Topic Perhaps
Or I Dont Know They Hold Essay Competitions Dont They
I Believe Ive Heard That To In Fact Be A Thing

[onmyneck]

Maybe I'll attach all the essay pages together with staples and make that my dress.

[glowsferatu]

Paper Can Be A Difficult Material To Work With
Should It Tear During The Night You Would Be In A Somewhat Awkward Position

[onmyneck]

Not if I laminate it.

[glowsferatu]

Well Um
While I Can Appreciate The Creativity In The Concept
The Imagery Of The Outfit Thats Occurring To Me
Its Just That I Think
This Would Probably Turn Out Horrendously Ugly

[onmyneck]

Not if I print it on yellow paper.

[glowsferatu]

If Youll Pardon Me Asserting My Semi-Professional Opinion
I Think That May In Fact Exacerbate The Problem

[onmyneck]

The font is bright red, if that helps.

[glowsferatu]

I Would Really Suggest You Seek Help
These Colors Are Abysmal And In No Way Complementary In The Manner You Would Use Them

[onmyneck]

You're right. It should really have a hat. A top hat.

[glowsferatu]

May I Please Make Your Dress Instead
It Would Be Criminally Negligent Of Me To Allow Another To Make Such A Dreadful Spectacle Of Herself

[onmyneck]

It's already been fitted. I can't go back now.

[glowsferatu]

You Have Only Seemed To Form This Concept As Weve Been Conversing
I Must Express My Skepticism

[onmyneck]

I'm a quick seamstress.

[glowsferatu]

Given My Own Expertise On The Subject The Only Method By Which It Would Be Possible To Do So Is With The Manipulation Of The Flow Of The Very Timestream Itself
Are You In Possession Of Such Abilities

[onmyneck]

Damn. I've been caught.

[glowsferatu]

Um
Youre Referring To The Lie Correct

[onmyneck]

No. You found out I was a time traveler.

[glowsferatu]

Then You Could Probably Return To An Earlier Point And Save Yourself From Expending The Effort Of Creating The Abomination To Begin With
Maybe
I Doubt Paradox Space Really Requires Its Existence But It Can Be Stupid Sometimes

[onmyneck]

I'm afraid paradox space has put my dress on its top list of requirements.

[glowsferatu]

Thats Stupid What Would Even Motivate It To That Result

[onmyneck]

I suppose paradox space just supports innovative fashion.

[glowsferatu]

I Have Enough Experience In Both Subjects To Know That It Is Doubtlessly Disinclined To Give A Shit

[onmyneck]

Maybe paradox space just likes me more.