video;

[amoray]

[the feed is underwater, and not immediately focused on eridan (though his cape does drift slightly into view here and there). few, if any, will recognize the atlantean palace or its throne room, but the architecture and the being underwater thing might tip them off.]

Considerin' it's been about a week or so now, and I hawen't seen skin nor scale a her, it's pretty safe to say that Namora a Atlantis ain't roamin' these waters no more.

[a pause.]

That bein' said, as the last sea dweller and the only indiwidual who ain't got garbage slippin' through their weins around here, it's only natural that I take ower their palace and assorted territories in their absence. Maintain 'em and such.

Aforementioned territories bein' all sewen seas and ewerythin' in between, for the record.

[he flips the camera away from a meandering lionfish (his name is xerxes the sewenth) and to himself, comfortably sprawled in namor's throne. and being smug as a motherfucker. like literally, he's been super smug about shit before but at the moment his smugness may be mutating surrounding sealife just by how goddamn potent it is.

the lay of his cape obscures the slight bulges under his clothing at his shoulder and leg, for the most part, but his left fin is visibly torn, and still an angry purple.]

As fair and generous warnin', I'm allowin' the humans continued usage a my oceans not outta goodwill, but outta necessity. Mostly since you lungbreathers would probably start whinin' your tailfins off about widespread starwation or some shit if I didn't. But if I start seein' anythin' I don't necessarily like happenin' in my waters, I won't hesitate to fuck some a your laughable tin can ships all manner a up 'til the message starts comin' through clearer-like.

I ain't currently acceptin' wirgin sacrifices or tributes a precious metals and stones, but be watchin' for that in the future.

[he gives a little wave of his ringed fingers at the comm.]

Ewenin', dirtscrapers. And long liwe the Prince.

[end feed.]

Comments

[amoray]

If you don't come up with a good excuse, I'm gonna hawe to tell 'em.

[enigmaestro]

You tried to teach yourself how to shave.

[amoray]

Quen is askin'.

[EDDIE PLS]

[enigmaestro]

This is what you get for showing off your battle scars. Which you didn't have to do, mind.

[amoray]

You would hawe.

[enigmaestro]

I would not have. I never have, it's like admitting defeat.

[OHHHHHHH]


[ALSO IMPLIES THAT PEOPLE BEAT HIM UP FAIRLY REGULARLY, WHICH IS PRETTY TRUE]

[amoray]

Or just showin' that you had to work your ass off to win in the first fuckin' place.

[BEAT.]

You probably don't hawe many scars worth showin' anyway, though, so I ain't surprised you're a that mindset.

[enigmaestro]

Fa -- oh, you bastard.

[RUDE]

[amoray]

Gonna share with the school?

[HEH]

[enigmaestro]

With the class.

The phrase is with the class.

[WHAT, PETTY AND MEANINGLESS DISTRACTIONS? YES PLEASE]

[amoray]

The school, as in a school a fish, as in there's your fuckin' fish punnin' again so quit quibblin' and start jawin'.

[DETERMINED]

[enigmaestro]

Since when are we fish punning again?

[amoray]

Since I broke your fuckin' heart when I didn't do it last time we talked.

[enigmaestro]

Broke my heart? Shore you did.

[amoray]

Are you doin' that thing where you try and distract me again?

[pause.]

...'Cos I hate it when they clam up on me.

[enigmaestro]

That's my little ray of sunshine.

[amoray]

Weak. I'm gettin' eel ower here.

[enigmaestro]

Of coral I can waves the sandbar, if you're going to be a bait and switch about it. I thought you'd appre-sea-ate the purpoisefully eased concrustacean instead of slamming in with wordplay mussels.

[amoray]

...I can't tell if you're punnin' at me or comin' onto me here.

[wait there wasn't anything notably punny in that response.]

Which explains a whole hell of a lot with how you ended up anglin' Norm.

[BOOM]

[enigmaestro]

Oh, cutting. Way to be a chum...













Bucket.

[amoray]

I hope that took care a your pun quota for the next fuckin' month.

[enigmaestro]

I won't make any promises. But tell me, Eridan, what are you getting out of this?

[amoray]

I missed bullshittin' with you.

[which is eridan for "i missed you" which is obviously the most feelsy thing he will ever have to say on the matter.]

[enigmaestro]

So we're looking at something that involves the other's company?

[amoray]

I'd like to be able to sit down and hawe coffee with you without gettin' my probably dead cat's unmentionables tossed at me, yeah.