voice;

[amoray]

So.

Any a you ewer had a nemesis before? Like fated fuckin' contentiousness, always gettin' up each others' gills doin' shit just to irritate 'em, duelin' to practically the death, maybe makin' out a little, that kinda thing.

See, I'm in the market for just that particular arrangement, and while I'm personally a master of the bellicose arts and don't need any adwice or nothin', I obwiously got a wested interest in how humans go about poorly imitatin' the quadrant. What with my bein' the main troll-human confidante in these parts and such.

[he pronounces it "con-fee-dawn-tay". also he means intermediary.]

Despite most of you bein' from a society bearin' a sewerely inferior romance system and therefore gettin' your emotions all scrambled up wrong from the get-go 'cos of it, I'd appreciate hearin' some personal tales.

Comments

video;

[enigmaestro]

[He's taken aback. Eyes widen for a moment behind those sunglasses, then he snarls -- opens his mouth, bared teeth -- and shifts to encryption.]

April is catching on.

video; encrypted

[amoray]

She's what.

[he doesn't even have time to be a smug motherfucker.]

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

She's catching on, she's asking me what's up between us. [He doesn't clarify it's because he was so quick to pounce on Eridan's address. Nope, doesn't mention that bit at all.] So this thing we're doing? Seems to be ineffective.

video; encrypted

[amoray]

Maybe I should stab you a couple times.

You know, really sell how much fuck you irritate outta me on a regular basis.

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

[Aggressively dry:] Oh yes, what a great idea. Why haven't we tried that sooner?

video; encrypted

[amoray]

[condescendingly faux thoughtful:]

Why hawen't we?

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

How funny of you.

She thinks I'm being possessive, probably because of how you're reacting.

[That logic doesn't follow, and he knows it. He just doesn't want the blame.]

video; encrypted

[amoray]

How I'm reactin'? I'm not the one initiatin' conwersation unnecessarily like you always do because you can't seem to keep your fuckin' nose outta my business.

[beat.]

What's it like, knowin' you fucked up worse than me for once?

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

For once is the operative phrase, mind. [Welp, no reason to deny it.] At the very least April is under my direction, my jurisdiction.

But I'll have to level with her a little.

video; encrypted

[amoray]

And how do you propose doin' that?

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

Limited honesty, I suppose.

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[amoray]

And what if that don't work?

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

Then I -- [reluctantly] I start threatening her job. But April's a smart girl, she'll take the hint.

[Beat.]

And likely examine the matter on her own time, I suppose.

The point is, you're right about something: you should investigate the qualities surrounding a nemesis, the sooner we arrange one then the sooner you and I don't have to hold up this facade as deeply. People would be otherwise distracted.

video; encrypted

[amoray]

We're not arrangin' my fuckin' kismesis. It ain't... you don't do that kinda shit, it ain't gonna be natural that way and ain't goin' to do me nothin' nohow.

It's gotta be perfect.

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

What variables are available, Eridan?

video; encrypted

[amoray]

Maybe the one where Orcus - or whoewer the fuck I am, I hawen't real solidly picked an alias yet - gets caught on camera doin' somethin' nefarious and starts gettin' his name out to the heroic population.

Stab in the dark here.

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

Oh, is Orcus a contender still? [Dorkus, he may mutter. WOW WHAT AN BASSHOLE.] But no, you're not wrong: you're going to have to push yourself to attract potential nemeses.

In terms of nefarious things, we've a good idea of your power range and capacity. You could make a good show with that. No doubt you'll want hostages, but there's an art to picking them, you know, you don't want to send the wrong impression.

video; encrypted

[amoray]

[INCREDIBLY RUDE, EDDIE]

I'm guessin' usin' human wigglers is kinda tired.

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

Abort the baby route. [Oh wait that's kind of funny... He clears his throat to mask any self-amusement, as undignified as it may be. Doesn't help much, of course, since this is video.]

And you don't want to draw parallel with your prior and fully unnamed activities, so avoid political figures too.

Sometimes the best way to wretch at their heroic heartstrings is to attack perfectly mundane and boring individuals.

video; encrypted

[amoray]

But the're so...

[WWAIT FOR IT. his expression pinches in distaste.\

...mainstream.

video; encrypted

[enigmaestro]

Pun appreciated.

But yes, which is perhaps the very reason that many heroic types seem so attached to them. That secret, misleading desire to be normal, you know, it's a common affliction among that breed.

If they understood any sense of superiority, they'd be more like us.

video; encrypted 2/2 doubletime for eddie being totally mature

[enigmaestro]

-- [like choking laughter, more than a chortle and not as brash as a guffaw]

Did you just call Ivy a plant or something? Oh my god, that was simply splendid.

video; encrypted LORD ALL OF THOSE TYPOS UP THERE

[amoray]

What? I thought that's what she was.

video; encrypted best designation really

[enigmaestro]

[just

gleeful

laughter.

He's doubling over, grabbing his face.]

Honestly priceless.

[Aw Eridan he thinks you're way funny.]

video; encrypted

[amoray]

[NOT SURE IF MOCKERY..................]