☆ video.

Feb. 11th, 2013 06:59 pm
hexappeal: (Default)
[personal profile] hexappeal
[James and Zatanna are in what appears to be a moment of domestic bliss. Everyone's favorite couple are in her media room and, more importantly, they're surrounded by rabbits of all kinds. They're on the floor, on the desk, and... mostly curled up near James. One in particular is laying on its back in his lap, fast asleep. The couple, however, are focused on the computer before them.

Zatanna makes a rushed noise and points at the screen, prompting James to stop scrolling.]
See! I told you there was a ton! [The screen features a cluster of fanfiction about the two of them, a good number of them seem to be weird AUs and love triangles.

James reads a description of one aloud:]
"It Takes Two to Teach Love by TantalizingTwilightFan: Zatanna is the new vampiric vixen English teacher in the City, upon meeting James Bond, her boss and school Principal, she thinks he's rude and obnoxious. Is there more to him than meets the eye? Rated Mature for language and lemons." ...These natives have a little too much time on their hands. At least they understand the part about you being blood sucking.

I'd hit you, if it didn't mean waking the bunnies. [A beat.] What do lemons have to do with a mature rating? I like that I get to be the vampire in this one, though. [She seems a little too pleased with this.]

Vampire or not, it says here that I'm your boss. [He shifts just enough in his chair to somehow look more smug than he already did.] Now be a dear, Miss Zatara, and get us a bottle of wine before I'm forced to drown myself in bunnies instead.

You know, I might enjoy watching that... but I'm only going to do this because I'm too sober to read any of these. When I get back, you better be prepared to read that quality piece of fiction to me, Mister Bond. [She carefully extracts herself from her seat so as not to disturb any bunnies and the video comes to an end. It's for the better that they don't read any of these on the Network. They're looking in the mature section, after all.]
doubleoohbaby: (you must be joking)
[personal profile] doubleoohbaby
Has anyone yet attempted to decipher the Porter's choice in imPorts? Seems sporadic at best.

I'm curious to know if we'll ever be able to tell who or what she'll bring us, especially as it's gotten rather quiet around here for that lately.

[A pause, and then a rather resigned addition.] I already know the answer.
doubleoohbaby: (let me gets this straight)
[personal profile] doubleoohbaby
Well.

[A tetchy little sigh.]

What's all this about, hm? It's cute that they think a few scanners can keep us at bay.

Anyone going to be testing this out? Colour me curious.

[encrypted; ISIS filter] )
doubleoohbaby: (king of his castle)
[personal profile] doubleoohbaby
Do you like:

- Dressing well?
- Kicking arse?
- Shooting first, asking later?
- Travelling?
- Living the high life?
- Meeting beautiful people?
- Driving fast cars?

Then you've likely been watching one too many spy films.

If you're capable of separating that painful lack of reality from the real truth behind spy life, however, then you might just be what I'm after. During the last few years since my arrival I've been forging what will be a lasting service provided for both natives and imPorts, a niche, if you will. Intelligence sought and provided from inside our own community.

[Beat.]

I even made a mission statement for this: [Clearing his throat oh-so professionally (and over-dramatically)!]

ImPort Secret Intelligence Service runs on private funding and works closely with others, seeking to provide intelligence gathered both on home turf and overseas. The service will ensure and promote national security and- perhaps more relevantly- imPort security against attacks from outside our community and from within.

All enquiries can be made with myself.

Encrypted to Jack Harkness, Carol Danvers, Anya Corazon, James Jesse, Han Solo individually )

(Literally open to all, but any questions can be thrown over here!)
carbonite: (LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES!!)
[personal profile] carbonite
(it doesn't matter what han and james were doing before han grabbed is communicator to shakily to show what had just happened. james bond is frozen in some position (seriously don't ask what they were doing).)

Something happened, I don't know what happened, I think James … broke. He's all -

(he doesn't say the "f" word but really james is still in one place and han is actually freaking out about what he did.)

I have a bad feeling about this. A really, really, really, bad feeling about this. Send all your hocus pocus types because I think this is more in the realm of the Force and Darth Vader than - than I don't know. Just someone come over and fix him.

(just like that, as if nothing happened james just reanimates, causing han to pull his blaster out at him - sorry dude, habit.)

I didn't think you'd disagree with the superiority of actually driving your car rather than automatic gear shifts.
doubleoohbaby: (stoke and smoke)
[personal profile] doubleoohbaby
[There's just the tiniest moment of hesitation to this post.]

One does have to wonder where the line gets drawn. When good turns to bad and bad turns to good. We merely seem to decide by our own standards of right from wrong.

Laws are not always right. But they're not always wrong. Is it really so black and white that we can judge on nothing but a rulebook?

In life I've witnessed good men do bad things and bad men do good things. It's all some sodding mix-up of one's own morals. If a bad act is deemed necessary to further society, then perhaps it's not all that bad. Heroes are often quick to label themselves as such, but a vast majority of the so-called villains out there don't even see themselves as the parable of evil. So much can be explained away by 'the greater good' and really, is it wrong to do right?

[A pause. An exhale, slowly and steady like he may be smoking.]

I suppose--...

Just be careful who you judge, City. You might not be so perfect yourselves.
doubleoohbaby: (king of his castle)
[personal profile] doubleoohbaby
Aren't you lot finished yet?

I thought in a city full of 'heroes' one of you would have sorted all of it out by now.

I'm bored of this. Hurry it up would you?
meowminx: (smarter than you)
[personal profile] meowminx
[ Look at the fancy bedroom! Selina's tangled up in the sheets, still asleep. Pussy Galore is curled up in a ball on the pillow next to her. A low rumble of a voice comes from behind the camera, smug and lightly amused. And British. ]

Always a pleasure to wake up next to this Pussy.

[ Selina opens one eye. Not so asleep after all. ]

Very funny. I still say you should change her... Are you recording this?

[ Though the video drops just slightly, James doesn't seem to be making much effort to hide it. ]

As if I'd do that.

[ Selina bundles the sheet even tighter around her. No need to flash the whole Network. ]

Seriously?

Selina, darling, don't be shy.

Shy, right. A life-long problem of mine. You're going to give people the wrong idea.

Or entirely the right one. [ You can all but hear his smirk. ] Did you sleep well?

Yes. Is breakfast ready?

[ She smirks right back. There's a lingering pause form behind the camera as James realises just how that question will come across, along with his answer which is a hesitant sounding;] ]

Yes.

[ She's grinning. ] Good. A girl does like feeling pampered.

Hn, I'll go get it, shall I?

In a minute, perhaps. Want to give me my comm?

Not if you're going to switch it off.

Damn. You saw through my clever plan.

The network needs it's entertainment. Let's allow them that much.

[ The camera creeps forward more and more, mostly because James is aiming for smooches. Selina rolls her eyes but lets James kiss her. ]

There. Pride satisfied?

Not completely, but it'll do for now.

I swear, you're the most...

[ She breaks off as she starts to glow. Her smile disappears. ]

James--

[ And with a flash, she's gone. Ported out. ]

Selina?!

[ The comm is dropped as he grapples in thin air and then, seconds later, the feed cuts. ]


ooc | bold = Selina Kyle, Regular = James Bond
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
I've been having such terrible luck with women lately. I think I may need to reconsider my approach. [Lol yeah right.]

So, tell me.

What are your best chat-up lines, network?

Or perhaps best methods for wooing your preferred partner?
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
Tits, abs, arse or legs?

Important question here. Stunning 'personalities' don't factor into it.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
I could almost be persuaded to believe in karma at this rate.

[James is sounding oddly cheerful today.]

Seems the world is slowly starting to right itself once more so how about a bit of a celebration?

Anyone who can knock me out in under three minutes wins themselves an all expenses paid for vacation to a location of their choice. One week. If you fail, you still get to punch me in the face. Win win, wouldn't you say?
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
[Someone is mourning his buddies-- I mean, bosses death. And yet;]

About time. Could have done with a holiday months ago.

Struggling to decide between another visit to the Bahama's or Hawaii. Suggestions on a postcard, if you would.

[A pause of consideration and then a low addition of:]

Oh, and to the little shit responsible, I know who you are. One can only hope you're out of the country by now.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
We all seem like a bloodthirsty bunch, so here's another question for the masses:

Would you end one life to save another?

Reasons for and against too, if you will.

Any who say no? I call bullshit right now.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
Has anyone tried to meet their creator?

And no, I'm not talking about 'God'.

Although I suppose, to an extent, that's exactly who they are.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
Between having a gold sprayed brick thrown at my head, a well aimed razor-lined bowler hat for the neck and an army of white persian cats set on me, I'd chalk this down to a fairly normal week in this place.

The leggy blondes are a bonus anyway. I don't, however, appreciate the chaps in tuxes shooting to kill, it's proving quite the inconveni--

[A shout in the distance of 'NO, MR.BOND, I EXPECT YOU TO DIE!' a gun shot and then pained groaning from the same voice. Bond's shouting off comm.] Well don't give me warning next time! Bloody idiot...

[AND HE'S BACK. Hi <3]


Are we all enjoying ourselves, Imports?
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
[Mr. Monotone is back, sounding as flat as humanly possible.]

I don't think I'm in the minority here when I say a summer vacation tends to paint pictures of sun, sea and sand, not--

Oh, shut up. You love it! [Another voice is quick to interject and after a brief jostle for the communicator it switches to video mode, straight to a close up of Zatanna shoving her face into the camera.] He's just in a mood because they were out of the pink cotton candy.

[And then a pan out of the two, sitting at an outdoor table with the backdrop of what looks suspiciously like a theme park of some variety. Bond's in his aviators, linefacing like a boss and pointedly not looking at the comm, though he's somehow been forced into a typical Disneyworld tourist t-shirt, matching so marvellously with Zee's own, who's also wearing a totally fetching Minnie Mouse hat. With those ears, the resemblance is uncanny. Even the numerous Mickey Mouse balloons attached to the back of James' chair can't seem to persuade him into a smile as he reaches to snatch the communicator back from the grinning thief :|]

I'll be out of action for the next few days. And possibly several weeks following due to counselling. Try to behave yourselves in my absence. And hers. [A jerk of his head towards Zee, a roll of his eyes and then the feed cuts out.]

(PRIVATE TEXT TO SELINA)
Favour to ask.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
[The video flickers onto what many may find a familiar looking face. It looks like he's already found himself a nice bar to settle into but he's alone with only his drink and his smug little smirk to keep him company. This doesn't seem to bother him all that much.]

Hello darlings, miss me?

I should have known the Porter couldn't keep her hands off me for long.

So, how long's it been? A few days? Weeks? Months? This may seem a little redundant if it's only been an hour.



(ooc: After kiddy ploooot. Spaz has no patience.)
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
[The scene flickers onto a night time landscape of the city from high above, the wind whistling sharply around as Bond comes into focus on the camera, holding it at arms length as he looks off camera and into the distance.

He's on top of an apartment complex, shoulders hunched against the biting wind as he pulls his coat collar up against his neck while puffing idly at a cigarette.]


It's been exactly a year since I showed up here. Doesn't sound like so long in the grand scale of it all but it's enough to have one being truly fed up of it all.

I've witnessed numerous attempts to escape since I've been here, almost all unsuccessful in getting us out of this place and yet… death seems to be the most successful. A lucky few out there have managed to be sent back after their public displays of demise and not return so, in my infinite wisdom, I've decided it might be worth a go.

[A long inhale has him finishing off his cigarette and flicking the glowing butt over the edge of the apartment block, while he and the comm lean over the edge to watch it flicker a path downwards.]

Perhaps we'll meet again, city. If not… It's been fun.

[A few casual footsteps and then the whole world is soaring upwards as he and the comm plummet, a barely recognisable blur of the view. The sound transmitted is only the rustle of fabric and the battering wind and then… static.]
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
Won't be long until I've seen every holiday there is to have in this place.

Perhaps the most surprising factor is that I haven't had hundreds of new borns left at my doorstep after the 9 month mark. But there's still time for that yet.

I do hope everyone has been having a wonderful December so far. One that will continue to be full of good cheer throughout their Christmas and New Year. Joy to the world and all that.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
For all those heroes to the rescue:

Location is at [warehouse address].

Hurry the hell up.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
Quite a few weeks we've been having. I hope everyone is having fun with their inevitable involvement in it all.

Sometimes one has to wonder what side the Porter's playing for.

Fickle little bitch.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
[The video feed switches on to a half dressed Bond, jeans and topless as he slumps into a sleek, modern looking couch while the comm rests on what's likely to be the coffee table in front of him. There's a lingering silence for a moment, only broken by a constant sound of scratching in the background, interrupted by the occasional muffled meow from another room. Eventually Bond speaks, but not before allowing himself a hefty sigh.]

Seems like this place is just full of happy surprises. Can't go a few days without it throwing something else right back in your face.

The Porter certainly seems to have a sense of humour, I'll give her that…

[Except Bond's definitely not laughing. In fact, he's line facing rather epically, his gaze purposefully not looking directly at the camera as he holds up another comm in his hand. Someone elses, clearly. The pause makes that previous background noise come to the forefront once more, a slow crescendo of mewling and scuffling.]

Selina's comm… She's not answering her phone… Haven't seen her either, not since I woke up this morning...

[Something glass smashes in another room and it jerks James' attention over his shoulder for just a moment before he's looking back to the video feed again.]

I'll give the city a search in a bit, see if I can't find her elsewhere. Not holding out any hopes though, it's--- [Another smash, clatter and the muffled noise of a cat hissing from behind a door. Sounds like theres a kitty with some serious attitude problems. James snarls softly to himself, snatches up his comm and moves over to the door in question.]

Oh, and if there's anyone who's any good with cats then… well…

[He opens the door to the bathroom, angling the camera towards it as he attempts to show the batshit crazy demon cat in question, but there's only the view of several smashed bottles and complete silence.

Then suddenly, a flash of black at Bond's leg, a hiss and--]


AAARRGHH! YOU LITTLE SHI--

[And the feed cuts out suddenly.]
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
[There's the sound of giggling in the background from what sounds like several different females, all close-by and conversing giddily between laughter.]

It's amazing how many women are willing to pay vast amounts of money to sleep with the fame of a name and it's encompassing reputation. Perhaps I'm in the wrong business.

Suppose in a place that doesn't offer quite the same opportunities as back home, some of us have had to reconsider business options.

Don't get too excited, network, I'm not entering the gigolo trade any time soon.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
Storms coming. Hope you brought a coat.

Oh and police folks, got something that might interest you.

How very ominous.

Come on then, network, tell me your secrets. Entertain a bored 'spy'.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
[The video feed flicks on to a bright blue, cloudless sky as the backdrop for Bond. There's a steady bob up and down of the camera and the few knotted ropes of rigging behind him soon come into view as he sits on the edge of a sailing yacht, legs dangling down and-- is that an actual smile on his face? He moves the camera round to the view he's got and with the white sands, turquoise sea and glaring sun, there might be the answer for his genuine happiness.

The only sounds are the faint lapping of the ocean against the hull of his yacht and the distant sounds of gulls and tropical birds, until Bond's voice cuts in, low and calm.]


It's always the way.

No matter what's going on in the world, or in life, there's always somewhere where one can find some solitude from it all.

Suppose it's only polite to ask the rest of you to share your own secrets to inner and outer peace, curious as I am.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
[Someone is sounding rather sullen today.]

Humans are inherently stupid.

Discuss.

Alternatively:

Argue with me on a subject of your choice.

Don't let me down, heroes.

[Encrypted to Desire]

Desire. A word in your ear if I may.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
[The feed switches to a blurred mass of objects, possibly even upside down at first as indecipherable voices can be heard. Another few seconds of this and the comm seems to right itself, a finger covering the video lense for moment until the camera shows off what looks like the inside of a bar, panning around shakily like a bad amateur video to eventually settle on showing the bright, smiling face of some nubile young lady who's holding the comm at arms length and waving enthusiastically to it. And then she's turning the video around to display a brief show of Mr. Infamous spy himself, Bond, sitting next to her with another young woman practically sprawled across him, and then to the City's resident DCI, Gene Hunt, who has a girl at each arm- twins by the look of it- not to mention blonde and busty. And there's alcohol, lots of it, beers, cocktails, martinis, champagne and more.]

You know what, here was me thinkin' 2010 was a load of bollocks. Glad to see that some things improved.

I told you, you just need to know the right people. Isn't that right, ladies?

[A chorus of agreements and giggles comes from the four girls at the booth as the video swings back towards Bond, the enthusiastic voice of a the girl holding the camera suddenly chirping her piece]

Jaaaames~ Say the martini line again~

Oh christ...

… Give me that!

[And the funs over, because a mildly bemused James is suddenly snatching for the comm and switching off the feed amidst a unison of complaints.]
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
When presented with a character well known to many, is it really fair to judge them entirely upon what you've seen or heard of them in the past? Is there not the very real probability of misrepresentation upon the creators behalf?

I ask this, of course, due to personal experience upon my person. Namely that and the issue of women.

I find it odd that, for a woman, it's perfectly acceptable to spend an evening in the company of a male without repercussion, yet when the roles reverse, the male is immediately labelled a cad for his successes. If anything, such judgment should be considered sexist on the females part.

Nevertheless, dear City, in light of certain accusations upon my character, tonight I offer nothing but a listening ear and present a question that's clearly of high importance to us all:

Ladies. How do you attract those that interest you? What are your methods for wooing the opposite sex? --Or same sex, should that be your choice.

Do tell. I'm keen to hear the workings of the female mind and their valued opinions on men.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
[The camera is sat on a coffee table in front of him as James sits on the edge of an expensive leather couch, leaning forward into view while he cleans out his gun- his PPK pistol for all you dirty minds out there. There's the distant muffle of the TV on in the background and just occasionally while he talks, there's the sight of someone (female and likely to be half naked, obviously) passing back and forth behind him.]

I assume plenty of you have been busy over the weekend.

I'm afraid I won't be available for the Institute meal, though I'm sure that's good news for many of you. But it's satisfying to see there's something being held for all of us stuck within this world.

In fact, I hear of plenty of your little groups and teams and evenings out, but where's the poker nights? I'd be surprised if there wasn't a little illegal gambling going on between imports. Good way to test your wits, after all.
[identity profile] doubleoohbaby.livejournal.com
[The video feed flicks on from Bond's communicator, but the sight certainly isn't the usual blonde hair, blue eyed individual who tends to use it. It's a simple shot from shoulders up as the comm is laid onto a table while he's sat on a couch, leaning forward onto his knees, apathetic as he lights a cigarette perched between his lips. There's the casual attire of a retro grey wool jacket and a simple shirt and tie, while the male, brunette with dark eyes and looking suspiciously like Sean Connery, seems to be staring rather boredly off to one side. When he speaks, it's with some ridiculous half-arsed mix of Scottisch and Englisch that makesch his voische incredibly dicstinctive, and starts as an idle mumble more to himself than anything...]

Q would have a field day with this technology.

[And then he's there, staring into the camera, or at least he's figured it's a camera anyway. All this tech isn't what he's used to after coming from the 60s but he still manages to use it with some ease.]


The name's Bond.

James Bond.

Interesting set up you've got here. Care to tell me who's in charge of all this? I'd rather like to speak to him.

[ooc: idek, troy seems to want to be tagged too. f u troy.]

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