capeandcowl | Entries tagged with † namor mckenzie

[So the video is shot underwater (like usual), somewhere where it's still midday, and it's focused on a really hideous bloated green corpse.

A skrull corpse.

Next to it, Namor looks pretty pissy ~~(also like usual)~~.]

Someone has been littering in my waters.

submariner

[filtered to victor von doom]
I would speak to you of this Skrull problem, Doom.

[filtered to susan]
Have you been released?

submariner

[Encrypted to Namora]

[Namor looks a bit tired. The dismayed clicking of dolphins can be heard from somewhere behind the comm. When he speaks, it's in Atlantean.] We must talk.

[Public]

[Schooling his expression back into one of haughty irritation for addressing the surface rabble! Obviously. The video is clearly shot in the ocean, somewhere sunny and tropical; the light is fractured by the clear water and wavering in odd patterns across his skin.] Must you people celebrate some new, inane thing every month? Someone explain this damned holiday to me.

submariner

[A black-and-white clip begins amid what is clearly an attack, showing first the sky and then the deck of a massive aircraft carrier. A few of the planes are circling in the air above, but they can't fire down onto their own ship. The camera quickly refocuses on the relatively small figure of a man as he begins heaving the empty planes off the deck of the craft before they can be occupied. They go spiraling down into the ocean below, whacking against the sides of the ship in the process, springing a few great, groaning leaks. Military personnel shout commands and gunfire breaks out, but it doesn't seem to slow the attacker down. He dives suddenly straight through the deck of the ship, peeling the metal back with his bare hands like it is made entirely of aluminum foil.

In the interest of brevity, the video skips to a significant amount of time later. There aren't any planes left in the sky, but there is a veritable fleet of lifeboats making their way off the starboard bow. Then, suddenly, the video begins to shake and tip, and dozens of ruined, smoking still-floating aircrafts swim into view. The boat is being capsized. When the top of the ship is fully submerged, the video finally gets a clear close-up of the man responsible, zipping through the rapidly dimming water until he is staring directly into the security camera. He's got dramatically pointed ears, and arched eyebrows. An unmistakably arrogant expression plastered across his face. The camera doesn't capture any audio, but for anyone who can read lips, he clearly mouths "This is only the first," before the feed goes static and cuts out.]

This haunting footage was handed to our Channel Five correspondent by a man calling himself "Namor" at a press conference earlier today. Our sources confirm that he is an Import. He had this to say while claiming responsibility for the unprovoked attack:

[Cut to much more professional looking footage; Namor has clearly walked right up to a press conference already in progress and kicked the intended target out from behind the podium. He carries his trident, and is thankfully not wearing his green scaly panties outfit (he's wearing the one with an open shirt and super tight pants that end at his calves, barefoot.) He zooms in on an incredibly attractive, incredibly blond reporter, because he's Namor come on, and hands her a small tape with a smirk before talking, seemingly addressing her camera in particular. Y e p.]

I am Namor, King of Atlantis. The seas are my realm, and the people of this world have desecrated them. No more. The world has two weeks to cease commercial fishing, offshore drilling for oil, and to demilitarize the oceans before I start sinking every ship I come across.

[He raises his chin, haughty, and then shoots straight up into the air and away with the aid of his fancy, manly ankle wings. The Channel Five correspondent glances back at her camera, then down at the tape in her hand, looking completely confused. The feed cuts again.]

submariner

[When the video clicks on, the backdrop is the face of the Porter building. Namor is holding a tall, gleaming trident, and he has clearly been working himself up into a good rant with excess stomping and fuming for a few minutes already (since attempts to /flip the Porter didn't go quite as planned). The moment he's sure the comm is good and on, he starts barking vitriol at it.]

I have neither time, nor patience for your problems, surface dwellers. Grovel to your fellow air breathers if you wish them solved without expending the effort to fix them yourselves. I will not waste any more of my energy protecting the mewling, idiot masses of your damned cities, when calls for the aid of my kind constantly go unheeded.

[Oh, except those surface guys (and gals!) that stepped up to help with his little Attuma problem like 2 issues ago-- Namor hesitates long enough for his lips to purse in distaste at the notion of shirking a debt, and then he narrows his eyes down at the communicator.]

Very well. Clearly, that is too much to ask. Direct me to your current disaster so I may do everything for you and be on my way.

[THEN HE TURNS UP HIS NOSE AND ENDS THE POST, SO THERE.]

Entries tagged with † namor mckenzie | the sub-mariner

Links

Page Summary

Expand Cut Tags