WELCOME TO DREAMWIDTH, HERO...

Ladies, I'm hoping you could provide me some assistance. I'm sure that there might be some modern women hearing this, because in all honesty, some of these selections are quite unacceptable and to an extent I don't want to be mistaken for a prostitute wearing something so revealing.

Though, I'm not going to be rude and ignore the gentlemen. Maybe someone can explain this ridiculous idea that people seem to have about cigarettes being "atrocious" for your health and why it seems that this city is slowly becoming the Soviet Union.

It's always a rule never to get close to a phone or - I guess whatever this darling thing I'm doing - when you're drunk. You never know what you'll end up saying and it just leads to a very awkward conversation in the morning. Though, I highly doubt more than one cosmopolitan and one episode of the Twilight Zone can do this. 

Then again, more than one drink can do a lot of things, can't it? 

I certainly hope you all know that the answer is no and I certainly am not wrong in the head to actually think that this isn't real. If you want to assume that I'm ignorant enough to actually believe that it isn't, you're free to. I'm afraid that you'd actually end up wasting your time and there's really nothing I can do about that. 

What I can do is get some answers. Where am I? What do you all want with me? At this point, I'd love to hear something interesting. I'd hate to be kidnapped and bored.