despicablenerd.livejournal.com[A young man with a striking resemblance to Bill Gates is lounging, dressed in an orange warm-up suit. A Wii remote lounges in his hand. He adjusts his glasses, puts down his orange smoothie, and tips back in his computer chair.]
Greetings City. I wish I could call this a pleasure, but being unexpectedly whisked away to a strange world is not high on my "to do" list. We are talking mid to low at best!!! But. What is done is, apparently, done, and now, having appointed myself in a manner befitting, I feel that introductions are in order.
The name: is VECTOR! ...For the uninitiated, it is a mathematical term, and I will pause here for a moment to allow those who need to to google it.
[He makes one slow rotation in his computer chair with his hands steepled.]
Done? Good. Now. I take issue with certain...labels being thrust upon me. YOUR A.I. IS DEFECTIVE! ...but sassy. Know this! I am but a humble evil genius, who enjoys spending his time in his heavily armed fortress with his presumably evil shark, and that is all! So you go call someone else when your trees are infested with cats, or your landmarks, perhaps, go missing...
[He gazes dreamily off into the middle distance for a moment, before returning his attention to the screen.]
I also imagine some of you may find it highly suspicious that I have managed to set myself up so comfortably [He gestures to the large video screens mounted on the strangely curved white walls behind him.] in such a short amount of time. To those of you I say: my father is the evilest evil bank manager of the evilest evil bank in all of the banking profession (which by default is evil!)!!! So. I know a good stock when I see one.
I'm glad we had this little chat, City. You're a really good listener, and I like that in a location. ...Okay bye.
[He points his Wii remote at the screen, and the transmission ends.]