whocouldwinarabbit: when you're evil - voltaire (i'm the monsters they become)
[personal profile] whocouldwinarabbit
[This is from [personal profile] nutritionalexpert's comm. And... also his body. It's pretty clearly Evan, even kitted out in a hat with the brim down low, his eyes swallowed up by the shadow it casts. his grin is the only thing visible of his face, wide and manic.]

Bravo, boys and girls, bra-fuck-ing-vo.

[The abstract concept behind the curtain, City: a whole five feet two inches of malice, hunched on the back of his couch gargoyle-style. the coffee table is blanketed in knives of all description, jagged, evil-looking things, some of them with the telltale rust color of dried blood. A radio offscreen is merrily looping the same song, over and over. His neighbors are going to hear manic guitar strumming in their subconscious for years.]

Do you wanna know how many people tuned in? No, no, I'm not talking about the shitheads who actually showed up to my little shin-dig. They hardly matter. No, see, what I cared about was the cameras I had watching the bloodbath. [he rummages through the knives to pick a CD up off of the table, and taps it demonstratively.] Sent the whole thing straight to the Internet. Sounds like you're all findin' that right about now, huh?

So. Do you wanna know how many people really reared their ugly heads to see you-all beat each other into bloody pulp? [He sniggers, flipping the CD back onto the table. he rocks back and forth on his heels, jabs a finger at the camera.] Do you wanna KNOW... how many people enjoyed that? How fast that shit is spreading? How many people said, "yeah, I hope they all just do the deed, just fucking rip each other apart."

You want to get rid of me? You wanna make me face justice? That's how you're feeling about all this, really, that's your thought? [He licks his teeth, jittering the hands hanging off his knees.] "HABIT, you piece of shit, you motherfucker, who cares whose hands did the deed, look at the body count. You gotta be stopped." [The side of his mouth ticks up.] Fine! Go ahead. It doesn't change a thing. Getting rid of me -- I mean, if we pretend that you could... well, point is. I said what I had to. And it wasn't [-- he points at the camera --] to you.

So... okey-dokey! Do what you're gonna do, coppers. [HABIT stretches his hands out, like he's readying his wrists for handcuffs.] I'm not goin' anywhere. Saved my last dance for you.
whocouldwinarabbit: who could win a rabbit - animal collective (Default)
[personal profile] whocouldwinarabbit
SHOWTIME, CITY. THE DAY WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR APPROACHES.

I'M HAVING A LITTLE GET-TOGETHER, AND THIS INVITATION IS FOR YOU. YES, YOU, READING THIS NOW. I DON'T CARE IF WE'VE TALKED BEFORE. I DON'T CARE IF WE HAVE.

THE WARREN'S READY FOR YOU, RABBITS. ALL I NEED TO KNOW IS WHO I HAVE TO CATCH.

SEE YOU SOON,

[This is the IC signup for THE BATTLE ROYALE PLOT! If you'd like to reply and don't want to be a participant just make a note of it. On the flipside, if you DO want to play, all HABIT needs is to be made aware of them here -- they don't have to agree to anything, and it needn't be a long thread!]


private )
whocouldwinarabbit: who could win a rabbit - animal collective (Default)
[personal profile] whocouldwinarabbit
[warnings post.]

HALLOWEEN MAKES ME ALL NOSTALGIC. WERE YOU AWARE THAT THERE WAS A TIME BEFORE PARENTS TOLD THEIR KIDS TO CHECK APPLES FOR RAZORBLADES? THAT METHOD HAS NEVER REALLY BEEN MY FAVORITE ANYWAY. I'M GOING TO GUESS IT'S BECAUSE NO FUCKING KID ACTUALLY WANTS TO EAT AN APPLE ON HALLOWEEN. WAY MORE EFFECTIVE TO SHOVE THE THING DOWN THEIR THROAT YOURSELF.

THERE WAS A TIME BEFORE THERE WAS CANDY AT ALL, TOO. I DO MISS THE HUMAN SACRIFICES. AND NOT ENTIRELY BECAUSE THEY WERE TO TRY TO KEEP MY FRIENDS AND I AWAY. (I'D SAY IT WORKED HALF THE TIME. I AM A FICKLE BEAST.)

HOW ARE WE ALL PLANNING TO CELEBRATE, THEN? COSTUMES AND CANDY? STAYING INSIDE AND TURNING OUR LIGHTS OFF, BAH HUMBUG? SUPERPOWERED EGGING?

I, PERSONALLY, AM FINDING AN IRONIC EASTER BUNNY OUTFIT AND HITTING THE STREETS.

HOPE TO SEE YOU OUT THERE,
whocouldwinarabbit: who could win a rabbit - animal collective (Default)
[personal profile] whocouldwinarabbit
[warnings post.]

THAT SURE WAS A PARTY LAST WEEK OR SO, WASN'T IT. NICE MAGIC TRICKS. I'LL HAVE TO PAY OUR GRACIOUS HOSTS A VISIT AGAIN SOMETIME.

BUT I EXPECTED BETTER FEARS OUT OF THE LOT OF YOU. SOMETHING NOT SO GOD DAMN PEDESTRIAN, AT THE LEAST. GUESS SUPERHEROES ARE ONLY HUMAN AFTER ALL. BEGRUDGING POINTS TO THE ELDRITCH HORROR WITH THE TENTACLES. NOT CREATIVE, BUT EFFECTIVE ENOUGH.

LET'S SEE ABOUT FIXING THAT, SHALL WE? THE FEARS, NOT THE HUMANITY. NOT THAT I CAN'T HELP WITH THAT, TOO.

YOURS TRULY,
whocouldwinarabbit: who could win a rabbit - animal collective (Default)
[personal profile] whocouldwinarabbit
[warnings post.]

GOING OVER THE NETWORK, I SEE THAT THE BEST WAY TO ELICIT A RESPONSE FROM YOU LOT IS TO ASK A POINTLESS, VAGUE QUESTION. I CAN ADAPT. I CAN ALWAYS ADAPT.

SO THEN: WHAT ARE YOUR BAD HABITS, IMPORTS? EATING YOUR FEELINGS MAYBE. OR YOUR TOENAILS. PERHAPS SCRATCHING YOUR PRIVATES? SCRATCHING OTHER PEOPLE'S PRIVATES? OR SOMETHING MORE SINISTER, FOR YOU VILLAINS OUT THERE.

I'VE NOTICED FANGLESS SNARK IS VERY POPULAR HERE. NEARLY USURPING BASEBALL AS THE NATIONAL PASTIME.

WITH LOVE,
whocouldwinarabbit: who could win a rabbit - animal collective (Default)
[personal profile] whocouldwinarabbit
[warnings post.]

GOOD EVENING, NETWORK. SHAMBLING MASS OF ADDLEHEADED IMBECILES THAT YOU ARE, EACH AND EVERY ONE.

LET'S KEEP THIS SHORT. I AM NOT HAPPY. UNDERSTAND THAT I WAS RUDELY INTERRUPTED IN THE MIDDLE OF SOME VERY FUCKING SENSITIVE WORK. PEOPLE I HADN'T MEANT TO KILL COULD HAVE DIED.

BUT, BECAUSE I AM EVER THE PATIENT ONE, I'LL LET IT SLIDE FOR NOW. IT'LL GIVE YOU A LITTLE TIME TO LUBE YOUR COLLECTIVE ASSHOLE.

CONSIDER WHAT'S TO COME YOUR PUNISHMENT. OR YOUR REWARD, FOR THE MASOCHISTIC AMONG YOU.

STAY TUNED, CITY. I'M SURE WE'LL GET TO BE VERY WELL ACQUAINTED. AND EXPECT GREAT THINGS.

SINCERELY,

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