coolcubed: (∂ it's the opposite of that.)
[personal profile] coolcubed
[ Okay guys, he gave you all your space. Multiple days of it, even! The time has come for recompense. In this post, Abed makes a lot of assumptions about people being totally up for volunteering their time and resources, as well as their general interest. ]

This is Abed Nadir. My name should be attached to this entry already but I didn't want to take any chances with technological malfunctions. I'm planning on putting together a documentary about the collective experiences that were experienced in the town of Capers.

That means I'll need any footage, photographs or souvenirs that people are willing to contribute to the project (to be returned once copied and documented). I'll also need anybody willing to subject themselves to a one-on-one interview with me and any camera crew. Questions about your home world or daily life in this city may come up, but you can waive them if you think you need to. I won't be needing title suggestions or a director.

A group of people to put their heads together and come up with a fairly detailed outline of events during the "expedition" would also be useful. I have a good memory but I couldn't be everywhere, and I can only establish so much through the aforementioned interviews.

While I'm here: if any imPort is willing to sign up for a general interview about themselves and their life here, I could use the footage for a potential future project.

Contact me to set up an appointment in the future or reply here.
coolcubed: (∂ look buddy there are rules to this)
[personal profile] coolcubed
[ Today, Abed is casually sitting in a finely furnished, stereotypical for elegant and sophisticated film viewing hosts living room. Red velvet and firelight, fine golden candlesticks, you know the drill. It's an illusion, but he likes to have the mood set for quests like these. Time to stop playing around. Time to get serious.

Or not quite. ]


So I'm currently in casting for a group of lovable misfits to bond with in our shared unlikely circumstances. Not the kind of casting that pays. [ Way to open smoothly. ]

My name's Abed Nadir. I'm a film student and I'm in my early twenties, but there isn't really a need to match my age or interests. I like to coordinate groups to be diverse. It gets a broader range of results and unexpected friendships. There's a study group back home that would make great testimony, but most of them aren't here.

It's not a study group recast, by the way. They're kind of irreplaceable and I don't have the patience for the Becky Conner or Vivian Banks schtick. Different circumstances demand different profiles, anyway. A new group. A fresh start. Season one of AfterM*A*S*H but with actual success. You can respond if you're interested in pursuing that. You'd also be signing a waiver stating that I can make a web series based on various in-group shenanigans. Romantic tension is okay, but if you can avoid it or hold off until our routines are more established, that would be better.

Just remember to be yourself. [ Oh, wait. ] But be yourself being interesting, I can't carry a social clique on my own.

Cool. Thanks.
kegflipped: (troy and abed in the morning)
[personal profile] kegflipped
Troy and Abed in the mooooorning! [ That’s right. It’s that time. Troy and Abed, appropriately dressed in the tiniest of business casual sweaters which were stolen from toys, are coming to you live from in front of a convenient mug.

It’s kind of hard to pretend you’re drinking high-quality Hollywood coffee when none of the mugs shrank. They’re clearly not letting that deter them, though, and have their biggest stereotypical morning host smiles on. ]


And we’re back!

If you’re just joining us, welcome. Today’s show is all about some useful advice for those of us who woke up on the teeny-tiny side of the bed. We now have a guest in the studio, is that right? Abed, would you like to introduce us?

Thank you, Troy. We’re talking to none other than Mr. Joseph Colton, American hero, who’s going to be giving us all a lesson in dental floss: what else your tool for hygiene can help you handle. We’re happy to have you with us, Joe.

[ And Troy’s taken the opportunity to get up, moving the angle of the camera just a bit to show that Mr. Joseph Colton is a G.I. Joe propped up on the other side of Abed. He’s got dental floss strung all over him.

They pause for a moment, because this is where Joe is saying his hellos. Troy takes his seat again and laughs good-naturedly. ]


I know I never leave home without it.

[ Abed laughs as well and nods. ] Now sadly, we don't have too much time left to get into all the details we could use. [ Cue politely sad frown. ] What are your top three pieces of advice for the folks at home?

[ They pause for a time, letting their guest say his piece. ]

Truly words worth hanging on to. Thanks for being here, Joe. We appreciate the services that you do for the community. [ Troy nods and looks back to the camera. ] When we come back, we’ll be taking some viewer calls. Don’t go away, folks.

[ And with a nod/imaginary coffee mug toast, Abed makes the trip to cut the feed. ]
coolcubed: (∂ i'm gonna take that flyer.)
[personal profile] coolcubed
[ Prepare yourselves, heroes, for Abed Nadir's Introduction to Panfandom Kidnapping. Which is to say that from the moment the camera's rolling on him (from that special awkward "the phone is on a lanyard and still around my neck but I'm recording anyway" angle), he's all darting wide eyes, no particular emotional inflection barring a little excitement, and rapidfire speech. It's been an eventful day, more unpleasantly stressful than not. The fact that he's apparently been summoned to serve as a superhero, though, is at least interesting enough to help him take to the change with a minimum of meltdown. ]

Smartphone. Cool. Cool cool cool. Not very high-tech for superhero gadgetry, but there are probably some kind of budgetary limits behind this. I can work with it while I'm here. It's got a good camera.

Oh, and I'm looking for some people. That's more important. Troy Barnes, Annie Edison, Jeff Winger, Britta Perry, Shirley Bennett. Also Pierce Hawthorne? Troy or Jeff would be my first picks for a cross-dimensional kidnapping, but I should keep all the bases open. I can describe them more if that helps. Or you can ignore that if you haven't seen them since it doesn't make a difference to you. That's probably what I would do. [ He pauses there and tilts his head sharply to the right. ]

I'd point out that it's weird to expect any of them to show up when there are billions of people in the world, or that I've been in school for three years and I don't really know anybody else worth looking for, but those things usually lampshade themselves eventually. Right now it feels kind of like the Breakfast Club- you don't know who's gonna be in detention with you, you just know you have detention. Only it's detention with capes. [ Ah wait, he's got it. ] Breakfast Club detention principle laid over the unexpected otherworldly adventure of Wizard of Oz laid over the gritty surreal rabbit hole of the Matrix, but produced by comic book companies. Total genre switches like these are risky when the audience is already invested in the established universe, but I like the gamble.

[ Abed pauses just once more as if in thought, then seems to nod to himself. ] Yeah, I think that's it. I've already got some brochures about the city, so I'm just gonna find a store.

[ Hm. Sure. Good a place as any to end. ]

((woop, and a reminder that he has a permissions post for his fourth-walling if you like!))
forgottoinflect: (Abed is documentary now)
[personal profile] forgottoinflect
One, two, testing... Is this working?

[a critical squint, followed by a brief moment of camera adjustment away from himself and a scan of the city and the going-ons of its citizens as he narrates over it]

Ah, yes. Ahem. This is a message to Troy, Annie, Jeff, etc. you know who you are. Or anyone else who may be aware of the whereabouts of the individuals by these names, or are aware of the whereabouts of people who are aware of the whereabouts of the above description. I'm not sure of the circumstances I'm dealing with here. Further details available upon request.

If you know who I am and are watching this and are not Britta nor Professor Duncan- I would like confirmation if this is similar to the time I imagined everything in stop animation, because I am comfortably over those issues and currently unaware of any others, and it's not December 9th yet although it is suddenly closer to the 9th than it was yesterday. Which is usually how time progresses, but I hope this isn't one of those episodes where I've gone into a coma and have woken up months or years later with amnesia only to find that all of my friends have died and only I'm alive to experience this new superhero-blessed universe. But if that's the case, you wouldn't be here to tell me otherwise.

If you don't know who I am and are watching this- I am Abed. I don't suspect I'll be here very long, because these sorts of things are usually corrected by the end of the episode, but I am interested in a demonstration of these super powers I've been told exist. Laser eyes, web-shooting, flying, you know the drill. And if somebody happens to have a similar get up or gimmick as Spider-Man (any version) I will gladly ignore copyright if you can wish my friend Troy a happy day-he's-not-supposed-to-celebrate-because-he's-Jehovah's-Witness. On camera if he's not here.

[camera turns back to himself, unblinking stare for a few awkward seconds before the feed cuts]

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