Dec. 31st, 2013 11:45 pm
aggressiveapathy: (stranger danger)
[personal profile] aggressiveapathy
new years dibs to me
but the bushes from heaven are probably a sign i’m not getting my federal holiday day off tomorrow
or living in a house much longer, i guess
i thought they were supposed to come on fire with news, not with gravity
lots of people giving out crash space for the humans right now
i’ll take the pets
daria left me enough room for them


Aug. 9th, 2013 06:06 pm
aggressiveapathy: (stranger danger)
[personal profile] aggressiveapathy
Did you know pics for job fairs have people dancing in them. Dancing. For work.

Who does that. Or maybe they're greeting their new alien god job messiah. I don't know. I'm not a crazy person.

So. Anyway. Tomorrow we're going to have one. A job fair. Not a new alien messiah. In the park. Come and make my life less terrible by getting a job.


[[ooc: this is in reference to this! If you have a company/group that'd like to participate, please comment there. Log will be up tomorrow!]]
magicalworld: (yay)
[personal profile] magicalworld
[Calvin and April are standing in front of a stage somewhere with a curtain drawn in front of it]

Guess what, City? Today is your lucky day! You all get to be part of artistic history. You're getting the privilege- no, the honour of viewing the first-ever publicly-sponsored piece of art produced by Calvin, Boy Genius! (That's me.) As part of my continuing quest to push boundaries, challenge convention, and shock the complacent, I bring you-

[The curtain rises dramatically, just as the theme music kicks up. What is revealed could perhaps best be described as a massive, warped diorama. The backdrop is what appears to be a rough mock-up of the City’s skyline, made from various cardboard boxes with hideous faces drawn on them in marker. On either side of it, two raccoons are dancing for some reason. Some kind of person-shaped effigy is smouldering in the center of the arrangement, smoke drifting up toward the ceiling. The effigy has been surrounded by pieces of garbage, like offerings around an altar: pencil shavings, a destroyed test tube, a smashed plate encrusted with burned food, a lump of clay that may have once been a failed sculpture, and much more. It looks almost like the abomination that might result from a night spent dumpster-diving at the Xavier Institute following very poor babysitting choices.]

[April looks dead at the camera, clapping her hands in front of her.]

We call it the Soul of the City. It’s, like, just the proto run. We need more interactive parts. There’s gonna be a teenager in a top hat trapped in a giant bubble. And a TV only showing home movies of kids crying from the 60s. And more.

[Calvin throws his hands up in the air look at all this enthusiasm everyone why aren’t you getting as enthusiastic as this come on.]

But we can’t do it on our own! Well actually, we can do all the art and creation and accept all the credit on our own, but we need something from you too! Specifically, money and material. We’re putting out a call for all the junk, trash, garbage and refuse that you think could be used to artistically capture the Soul of the City! And we want you to give us funding in return for taking it.

[Seems fair right.]

Also, does anyone know any teenagers who look good in top hats?


Mar. 15th, 2013 04:36 pm
aggressiveapathy: (pic#5041491)
[personal profile] aggressiveapathy
ides of march again. happy one year to me. plus some, i guess. lost track with the whole banished to a new different stupid nightmare dimension. thing. the ides are closer to the first time i followed some weird guy home than the first time i went to a City bar.

kinda lame.

remember when pointless holidays used to mean something in this place.


Nov. 18th, 2012 11:55 am
aggressiveapathy: (pic#5041469)
[personal profile] aggressiveapathy
[For once, April is looking at the camera rather than just recording herself while doing something else. She’s even holding the camera herself. So maybe her look of annoyed agitation is to be expected, with all this work she’s doing to broadcast.]

When I moved in this house I had three whole roommates. Okay, so. Two. And I bought the third. But whatever, he was here. So I’m the last original standing, I guess. Where’s my star? I worked real hard at not vanishing into the night and everything…

[She rubs that back of her neck for a moment with a huffed out breath.]

Unless Monster fell into that stupid Thunderdome thing. Which he’s dumb enough to. But I didn’t see him there and he’s kinda too stupid to not get caught on camera…So, ported out or murdered, he’s stopped showing up, anyway. So I guess I have closet space to rent. And, like, five million umbrellas on sale.

[There’s a noise off screen. She frowns, then turns the camera to point at the living room floor. Where a small gang of raccoons are now possessively clutching at a pile of umbrellas which have been unceremoniously dumped out. If raccoons could cry, one of them looked like it was ready to.]

Wow. Shut up, traitors. He’s the one that ditched, not me. Stop pouting and just go find someone else to brush you. Or get a hobby or something. God.

I’m done talking about it, anyway.


Sep. 15th, 2012 07:46 pm
aggressiveapathy: (pic#2868513)
[personal profile] aggressiveapathy
People believe really stupid things. Like my high school class had three chicks drop out from getting knocked up. One said she wouldn't give her kids vaccines because of autism. Another thought her being on top counted as birth control. Because gravity is a kind of magic, I guess. Which is why high school is pointless. It's full of people too stupid to learn.

But then it doesn't stop. Adults think LBJ had JFK shot or the CIA made AIDs or a bunch of other groups of letters caused a lot of other random acronyms to happen or explode or become president. So I guess growing up makes you pretty dumb, too.

And now there's here. Where there are invasions of body snatchers and government take overs and sometimes the voices really are out to get you. And sometimes people come running around your work crying about how a space ship is blocking their satellite reception or that her boss's face melted off and he was really a robot inside. Seriously. Both of these happened. Friday.

So. How do you even pick what's crazy and what's just...life or something. Or is it even worth the effort of deciding which is which when you can just file it all under stupid?

[Heaves a sigh]

Whatever. This is why animals are way better than people, anyway. They don't make things up for attention.
aggressiveapathy: (invisible)
[personal profile] aggressiveapathy

AWOL: one emo sobbing poet drama queen. last seen muttering and not making me breakfast. return in whole or part. thanks.

unrelated. i have a free room to rent. terms tbd. love of cooking, cleaning, and raccoons required.

so. yeah.
pilfered: (another success story.)
[personal profile] pilfered
[April is leaning against the side of a craps table a party city veil somehow still clinging to her hair at a haphazard angle.]

Hey guys. I’m in Las Vegas. It’s okay, I guess. There’s like five million bars here. Which is stupid, they all have the same lame stuff and all the glitter is gonna be stuck in my hair forever. I’m gonna need a whole new closet worth of clothes or something. So. Make those the first gifts, I guess. And a PS3.

Oh, and I’m on my honeymoon. So Eddie and Andy, I don’t know when I’ll be back. When we lose all our money and have to walk back to the City, I guess. And I get a divorce because who wants to be married to a train hobo?

[She grins- really, actually smiles- over at the man next to her, who leans over and holds out the dice. His face is only partially onscreen, just half his face, and outstretched hands.]

I’ll forgive the disparaging comment about my wardrobe if you turn that off and pick a winning number, love.

God, I have to do everything. Kat, Terry. You’re in charge of the raccoons. Don’t let them starve. And the interns, I guess.

[And the feed ends.]


Apr. 17th, 2012 04:19 pm
aggressiveapathy: <user name=nuv0le-rapide site=livejournal.com> (pic#2868516)
[personal profile] aggressiveapathy
[April is seated at her desk at City Hall, typing away at the computer and not even glancing at the camera as she talks.

She does not look happy. Well. More so than usual.]

Okay. So a long weekend officially stops being long and starts being super annoying when it stretches into the next one. Some people just can’t handle texts, I guess. Or emails. Or twitter. He hasn’t even updated his Facebook status. Not like I’m shocked or anything. His favorite movie’s A Walk to Remember. What kind of a person is that even?

Oh, right. One that’s so terrible at his job he can’t even manage quitting right. That’s what.

[Whatever sentence she’s typing gets finished with a particularly hard slam of the enter key]

So, yeah. Now I get to look for a new intern, I guess. And since locals like to just wander away anyway, I figure I may as well go for someone with powers. There’s no pay and a slight chance of hot coffee face. So. Apply here.
aggressiveapathy: (phone)
[personal profile] aggressiveapathy
[The communicator has apparently been set on top of her TV, acting like a webcam that she occasionally glances up at as she swings her wiimote around from the comfort of her couch. Sitting on the back of her couch, one behind each shoulder, are two quietly chattering raccoons.]

Hey. It’s week two of April’s Nightmare. Still not waking up. That sucks. Not like I was busy being at a totally lame party with my stupid boyfriend or anything...

[She glances up at the camera, then over to one of the raccoons, then back at the TV.]

But these guys started breaking into my apartment last night. It’s not my house, so. Whatever. It’s ugly anyway. But someone needs to come fix my locks or I’m gonna get murdered by a hobo with mad cow disease or crabs or get taken over by bees or something. I won’t pay you. But if you do it fast you can maybe have a leftover taco or something. Just no talking to me while you’re here.

I mean it.

[One of the raccoons hisses at the lens for extra emphasis, and April actually raises a hand to scratch behind it’s ear for a moment.]

But, yeah. These things keep showing up so I guess they think I’m like their squirrel queen or something. That’s okay, I guess. They got cable for me. I get like five million channels now. So, whatever. That’s kind of cool.

I still need locks.


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