capeandcowl | Dec. 29th, 2013

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Dec. 29th, 2013

hackeralastair

[and shaky, as he's trying to hold it, keep his coat closed, and wrangle two cats all at the same time. Alastair is beyond panic - he heard about the buildings and ran to evacuate Hell Towers 10th Floor before anything serious happened]

Does. Does anybody have space for a guy and a couple cats until this weird building thing is over? Ow! Dammit, Aome, no, stay here!

'cause I mean I can sleep at Dancitron if I have to but I'm not bringing the cats there.

Shit, look at all the buildings...

incywincyhero

[Spider-Man's mask isn't visible in frame -- instead, it's generic view of City skyline, no particular landmarks in sight. Still, you don't need to recognize individual buildings to see they don't look right. Skyscrapers are tall as a rule, but these seem taller than they should, relative to the visible number of stories.

That the tallest ones are starting to corkscrew round the tops should also be a giveaway.]

Please, someone tell me I drank some bad eggnog last night and I'm imagining this. I will gladly trade the public humiliation for architecture with a proper respect for the laws of physics. And if it's not asking too much, I'd also appreciate laws of physics with a proper respect for the laws of physics.

[He clears his throat.] Assuming lack of egg-induced hallucinations, I think everybody should grab a coat and get outside.

[Beat. The groan of tortured metal and concrete is audible.]

Right now. Help anyone around you who needs help, but don't waste time trying to pack.

[PRIVATE to Tony Stark and Valeria Richards.]

Tony? Val? If I don't hear from you in the next five minutes I'm heading to the penthouse.

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!event - 4 uses
!joint post - 222 uses
!modpost - 33 uses
!newsfeed - 49 uses
abed nadir | meta man - 5 uses
adrian veidt | ozymandias - 1 use
alana bloom | n/a - 1 use
alastair | hacker - 78 uses
april ludgate | janet snakehole - 10 uses
arturia pendragon | saber - 6 uses
bane | bane - 2 uses
billy kaplan | wiccan - 3 uses
callie maggotbone | n/a - 57 uses
calvin | stupendous man - 44 uses
charlene "charlie" bradbury | n/a - 8 uses
christine stanford | n/a - 3 uses
cole sear | n/a - 1 use
cu chulainn | lancer - 4 uses
damian wayne | robin - 44 uses
danger | n/a - 15 uses
daniel dreiberg | nite owl - 2 uses
daria morgendorffer | melody powers - 13 uses
davesprite | feathery asshole - 13 uses
dr. abel gideon | ???? - 1 use
edward nygma | riddler - 46 uses
eridan ampora | prince of hope - 43 uses
felicia hardy | black cat - 27 uses
frank castle | the punisher - 1 use
frederick chilton | chief of staff!! - 1 use
gemma doyle | n/a - 41 uses
gilbert nightray | n/a - 11 uses
hannibal lecter | alias - 1 use
harleen quinzel | harley quinn - 3 uses
harvey dent | two-face - 46 uses
jack bauer | man of the hour - 34 uses
jason todd | red hood - 52 uses
jenny quantum | eclipse - 15 uses
julian keller | hellion - 27 uses
kanaya maryam | sylph of space - 26 uses
karen starr | power girl - 1 use
karkat vantas | threshecutioner - 17 uses
kate kane | batwoman - 25 uses
kenzi | n/a - 20 uses
kirei kotomine | the overseer - 4 uses
kiritsugu emiya | n/a - 1 use
kotetsu t. kaburagi | wild tiger - 25 uses
kurt wagner | nightcrawler - 29 uses
kyouko sakura | ophelia - 9 uses
lillian crawley-jeffries | diamond lil - 4 uses
minako arisato | the wild card - 13 uses
mitchell hundred | the great machine - 42 uses
molly hooper | n/a - 10 uses
mordin solus | the professor - 6 uses
n/a | archer - 22 uses
n/a | hooded justice - 2 uses
nelson gardner | captain metropolis - 5 uses
nemesis prime | nova prime - 3 uses
nepeta leijon | rogue of heart - 17 uses
nick fury | gemini - 3 uses
nill | n/a - 44 uses
norman osborn | the green goblin - 62 uses
oswald cobblepot | the penguin - 10 uses
peter parker | spider-man - 115 uses
piccolo | n/a - 11 uses
pietro maximoff | quicksilver - 41 uses
renee montoya | n/a - 4 uses
richard swift | the shade - 6 uses
rick bradbury | n/a - 10 uses
rikku | machina maw - 48 uses
rin tohsaka | n/a - 10 uses
rose lalonde | seer of light - 37 uses
rua | deformer - 3 uses
ruka | gallitrap - 50 uses
sanji | mr. prince - 62 uses
scathach | the shadow - 63 uses
steve | superhero steve - 11 uses
terrance ward | trauma - 69 uses
tony stark | iron man - 58 uses
troy barnes | the truest repairman - 7 uses
valeria richards | n/a - 4 uses
yako katsuragi | miss detective - 6 uses
† !—dropped characters—! † - 1829 uses
† abigail boylen | cloud 9 - 8 uses
† agatha heterodyne | the maker - 17 uses
† alberto falcone | holiday - 4 uses
† alex kralie | n/a - 1 use
† alex power | gee - 2 uses
† alexander aaron | phobos - 3 uses
† alucard | n/a - 7 uses
† amanda waller | the wall - 1 use
† anders | n/a - 2 uses
† andromeda tonks | muggle lover - 9 uses
† andy bernard | the nard dog - 15 uses
† angelica einstürzen | dr. einstürzen - 4 uses
† angelica jones | firestar - 33 uses
† annie edison | the day planner - 1 use
† anya corazon | spider-girl - 9 uses
† aoi | the laughing man - 3 uses
† aphrodite | goddess of love - 2 uses
† aquaria nautica neptunia | namora - 7 uses
† aradia megido | maid of time - 19 uses
† aranea serket | sylph of light - 1 use
† archy | n/a - 1 use
† armaros | n/a - 3 uses
† arthur | arthur - 7 uses
† astral | soulbonder - 25 uses
† aurican | the balladeer - 3 uses
† aximili-esgarrouth-isthill | n/a - 1 use
† azazeal | nephilim - 3 uses
† aziraphale | the guardian - 10 uses
† bakura | n/a - 113 uses
† barbara gordon | oracle - 5 uses
† beelzemon | ike beelze - 5 uses
† bellatrix lestrange | n/a - 16 uses
† bender rodriguez | superking - 17 uses
† benjamin grimm | formerly the thing - 1 use
† biff | מה? - 2 uses
† billy batson | captain marvel - 3 uses
† billy | n/a - 2 uses
† blackagar boltagon | black bolt - 2 uses
† bobbi morse | mockingbird - 25 uses
† boston brand | deadman - 1 use
† boy blue | the black knight - 3 uses
† boyd langton | rossum - 33 uses
† brandon sharpe | striker - 5 uses
† brian moser | vanilla ice - 1 use
† bro'dee walker | saint walker - 2 uses
† brooklyn | n/a - 1 use
† bruce banner | hulk - 8 uses
† bruce wayne | batman - 2 uses
† buffy summers | the slayer - 7 uses
† byakuroku | heaven's seat - 3 uses
† candy deconnick | not a fucking import - 4 uses
† candy quackenbush | n/a - 2 uses
† captain jack harkness | captain innuen - 23 uses
† carol danvers | captain marvel - 22 uses
† carrie kelley | catgirl - 26 uses
† cassandra cain | black bat - 34 uses
† cassie holmes | watcher - 20 uses
† cassie | n/a - 2 uses
† ce'nedra | queen of the world - 2 uses
† charles f. xavier | professor x - 18 uses
† charlie gage-radcliffe | misfit - 26 uses
† chell | [redacted] - 5 uses
† chris traeger | sam seaborn - 1 use
† claire bennet | n/a - 4 uses
† clint barton | hawkeye - 25 uses
† cloud strife | n/a - 1 use
† clu 2 | n/a - 2 uses
† colin wilkes | abuse - 1 use
† collette | n/a - 2 uses
† connor hawke | green arrow ii - 1 use
† cross marian | general ginger - 20 uses
† curt connors | n/a - 6 uses
† curtis doyle | freedom ring - 25 uses
† cyd sherman | codex - 3 uses
† czeslaw meyer | n/a - 3 uses
† daimon hellstrom | son of satan - 2 uses
† daisy johnson | quake - 1 use
† daken | n/a - 9 uses
† dave lizewski | kick-ass - 2 uses
† dave strider | knight of time - 19 uses
† david xanatos | magnificent bastard - 13 uses
† dean winchester | n/a - 1 use
† death | n/a - 2 uses
† dennis sommers | ultranova - 2 uses
† desire | n/a - 22 uses
† dexter morgan | the dark passenger - 4 uses
† diana of themyscira | wonder woman - 4 uses
† dick grayson | nightwing - 62 uses
† dirk strider | destroyer of souls - 3 uses
† doctor zoidberg | the lovable tramp - 21 uses
† donna troy | n/a - 18 uses
† dr. franken stein | n/a - 25 uses
† draco malfoy | n/a - 8 uses
† dracula | n/a - 3 uses
† dukat | gul dukat - 4 uses
† eames | the forger - 9 uses
† edward cullen | sparkles - 5 uses
† edward | radical edward - 1 use
† elektra natchios | elektra - 8 uses
† eli bradley | patriot - 1 use
† ellie roosevelt | ghost girl - 1 use
† eloise bradshaw | fugue - 1 use
† erik lehnsherr | magneto - 12 uses
† erika kurumi | cure marine - 1 use
† eugene fitzherbert | flynn rider - 1 use
† evan mcculloch | mirror master - 8 uses
† evan | the firebrand - 9 uses
† eve | miss moneypenny - 1 use
† evilyn killface | killface - 6 uses
† faith lehane | the slayer - 5 uses
† faiza hussain | excalibur - 1 use
† feferi peixes | witch of life - 24 uses
† finn the human | bodaciousest of heroe - 11 uses
† flash thompson | agent venom - 2 uses
† flint marko | sandman - 5 uses
† floyd lawton | deadshot - 8 uses
† floyd pinkerton | pink floyd - 23 uses
† fluttershy | kindheart - 10 uses
† francis billings | spikes - 2 uses
† franklin richards | hyperstorm - 2 uses
† fred weasley | forge - 8 uses
† gamzee makara | mirthful messiahs - 30 uses
† garrus vakarian | the archangel - 15 uses
† geddoe | raijin - 28 uses
† george weasley | gred - 3 uses
† gesicht | n/a - 2 uses
† ggio vega | n/a - 23 uses
† gil marverde | n/a - 1 use
† gil pender | the hollywood hack - 1 use
† ginny weasley | n/a - 5 uses
† glados | n/a - 2 uses
† goku | seitan taisei - 10 uses
† greg lestrade | detective inspector - 4 uses
† gretel | n/a - 8 uses
† gwen stacy | n/a - 27 uses
† hal stewart | tighten - 2 uses
† han solo | scoundrel - 17 uses
† handsome jack | the goddamn hero - 6 uses
† hank mccoy | beast - 38 uses
† hans von hammer | enemy ace - 10 uses
† harper temple | madame mirage - 1 use
† harry potter | n/a - 6 uses
† harry sullivan | n/a - 2 uses
† hartley rathaway | pied piper - 3 uses
† haymitch abernathy | drunkard - 2 uses
† heine rammsteiner | n/a - 1 use
† helena wayne | huntress - 11 uses
† henry jones jr | indiana jones - 1 use
† hercules | n/a - 9 uses
† hikaru sulu | lieutenant badass - 5 uses
† hogan bight | crucible - 3 uses
† homura akemi | n/a - 1 use
† ianto jones | n/a - 5 uses
† ikkaku madarame | third seat - 1 use
† irene adler | the woman - 2 uses
† ironhide | n/a - 2 uses
† isaac bowin | the fiddler - 3 uses
† isaac clarke | fuck-you guy - 1 use
† isabela | rivaini - 9 uses
† iskandar | rider - 4 uses
† iv | asian champion - 1 use
† jack frost | n/a - 2 uses
† jack hawksmoor | king of cities - 2 uses
† jack noir | spades slick - 2 uses
† jack pherson | n/a - 4 uses
† jade chan | t-girl - 1 use
† jade harley | witch of space - 26 uses
† jaime lannister | kingslayer - 3 uses
† jaime reyes | blue beetle - 100 uses
† jake english | page of hope - 7 uses
† james barnes | bucky - 70 uses
† james bond | 007 - 36 uses
† james bradley | doctor nemesis - 2 uses
† james jesse | trickster - 5 uses
† james potter | prongs - 24 uses
† jane crocker | maid of life - 3 uses
† jane vasko | painkiller jane - 6 uses
† jason grace | n/a - 5 uses
† jay | n/a - 4 uses
† jennifer walters | she-hulk - 25 uses
† jerry redmond | true-blue - 2 uses
† jesse sanchez | street angel - 13 uses
† jessica drew | spider-woman - 31 uses
† jessica jones | n/a - 4 uses
† jessica wakefield | the clique - 35 uses
† jim kirk | n/a - 22 uses
† jim moriarty | n/a - 2 uses
† joan holloway (harris) | marilyn monro - 4 uses
† joel weinberg | houston - 39 uses
† johann kraus | agent johann kraus - 1 use
† johann skull | skull brother two - 3 uses
† john egbert | heir of breath - 14 uses
† john morley | ghost - 33 uses
† john watson | n/a - 10 uses
† john | master chief petty officer 117 - 2 uses
† johnny storm | the human torch - 20 uses
† jonathan crane | scarecrow - 68 uses
† joseph wilson | jericho - 2 uses
† joxer | joxer the mighty - 2 uses
† julian day | calendar man - 18 uses
† julian priest | provocateur - 1 use
† julian sark | n/a - 2 uses
† julio richter | rictor - 2 uses
† k.i.t.t. | n/a - 4 uses
† kaito tenjo | daybreaker - 3 uses
† kamui katsuragi | the great kamui - 1 use
† kang | n/a - 8 uses
† kara zor-el | supergirl - 2 uses
† kariya matou | n/a - 2 uses
† karla sofen | moonstone - 17 uses
† kasumi goto | n/a - 3 uses
† kat | gravity queen - 4 uses
† kate bishop | hawkeye - 7 uses
† katie power | energizer - 2 uses
† katniss everdeen | mockingjay - 14 uses
† katurian katurian | the pillowman - 50 uses
† kaylee frye | n/a - 15 uses
† kazuma mikura | stealth - 1 use
† keiko yukimura | again? - 5 uses
† keith anyan | n/a - 30 uses
† kenny mccormick | mysterion - 1 use
† khashoggi | n/a - 3 uses
† khisanth | onyx - 18 uses
† king faraday | n/a - 1 use
† kitty pryde | shroud - 5 uses
† klarion bleak | the witch-boy - 7 uses
† knock out | n/a - 6 uses
† kyo kusanagi | n/a - 6 uses
† kyosuke kiryu | shinigami - 47 uses
† ladd russo | white suit - 9 uses
† lana kane | truckasaurus - 1 use
† larsa solidor | the emperor - 15 uses
† laura kinney | x-23 - 41 uses
† le chiffre | n/a - 1 use
† len snart | captain cold - 2 uses
† lenalee lee | n/a - 2 uses
† leo valdez | flame kid - 4 uses
† leon souryuu | the admiral - 1 use
† leonard mccoy | bones - 1 use
† leonard mccoy | doctor feelgood - 15 uses
† leonard samson | doc samson - 1 use
† leta arias | knock-out - 1 use
† lila fowler | princess - 5 uses
† lily champagne | n/a - 2 uses
† lily evans potter | the doe - 23 uses
† lin beifong | n/a - 3 uses
† lisbeth salander | wasp - 3 uses
† logan | wolverine - 40 uses
† loki laufeyson | n/a - 18 uses
† loki | n/a (matantei loki ragnarok) - 2 uses
† lorna dane | polaris - 3 uses
† luna lovegood | loony - 8 uses
† lust | n/a - 49 uses
† lyra silvertongue | lizzie brooks - 160 uses
† lyra | savage she-hulk - 2 uses
† m'gann m'orzz | miss martian - 2 uses
† madison jeffries | box - 9 uses
† madoka kaname | pink ☆ arrow - 3 uses
† maggie mui | paper sister - 17 uses
† makishima shougo | psycho-pass - 2 uses
† maleficent | the mistress of all evil - 1 use
† mami tomoe | n/a - 1 use
† marc spector | moon knight - 3 uses
† marrina smallwood | leviathan - 1 use
† martin septim | dragonborn - 3 uses
† mary jane watson | the wolfspider - 2 uses
† matt murdock | daredevil - 23 uses
† max dillon | electro - 24 uses
† max gibson | batwoman - 16 uses
† maximus decimus meridius | spaniard - 1 use
† maxwell lord | black king - 6 uses
† may parker | spider-girl - 8 uses
† maya hansen | n/a - 1 use
† megamind | megamind - 8 uses
† michael j. caboose | n/a - 1 use
† michael lane | azrael - 5 uses
† michaelangelo | michael j angelo - 4 uses
† michelle vance | prospect - 1 use
† michiko malandro | the fuck is this - 5 uses
† midii une | n/a - 18 uses
† miles morales | spider-man - 2 uses
† minako aino | sailor venus - 1 use
† mindy macready | hit girl - 11 uses
† mokuba kaiba | n/a - 5 uses
† monet st. croix | m - 2 uses
† monica chang | black widow - 3 uses
† montgomery scott | n/a - 1 use
† n'ton | weyrleader - 2 uses
† n/a | apollo - 17 uses
† n/a | bullseye - 41 uses
† n/a | iv - 2 uses
† n/a | monster in the darkness - 11 uses
† n/a | negotiator - 5 uses
† n/a | raven - 6 uses
† n/a | shatterstar - 3 uses
† n/a | starscream - 5 uses
† n/a | the habit - 7 uses
† n/a | the joker - 2 uses
† n/a | the major - 52 uses
† n/a | the midnighter - 15 uses
† n/a | the narrator - 1 use
† n/a | the pro - 23 uses
† namor mckenzie | the sub-mariner - 30 uses
† namorita prentiss | n/a - 1 use
† nanaja demeter | n/a - 2 uses
† nanaue | king shark - 2 uses
† naoto fuyumine | n/a - 1 use
† naruto uzumaki | tehnmbr1hokageyeah! - 2 uses
† natasha romanov | black widow - 33 uses
† nathan seymour | fire emblem - 2 uses
† ned | the piemaker - 7 uses
† nero | not interested-- - 15 uses
† nick angel | n/a - 2 uses
† nico di angelo | n/a - 1 use
† nina sayers | i'm the swan queen!! - 10 uses
† nymphadora tonks | badger - 23 uses
† nyota uhura | n/a - 4 uses
† oliver queen | green arrow - 6 uses
† olivia dunham | n/a - 7 uses
† owen mercer | captain boomerang - 1 use
† pam poovey | shiro kabocha - 3 uses
† pamela isley | poison ivy - 5 uses
† parker robbins | hood - 21 uses
† peacock | n/a - 3 uses
† peeta mellark | n/a - 2 uses
† pepper potts | n/a - 1 use
† peter petrelli | n/a - 15 uses
† philip j. fry | captain yesterday - 3 uses
† phobos escanor | prince phobos - 2 uses
† pickles | the drummer - 6 uses
† primrose everdeen | duckling - 5 uses
† q | the quartermaster - 2 uses
† quentin quire | kid omega - 17 uses
† ra's al ghul | the demon's head - 2 uses
† rachel grey | marvel girl - 6 uses
† rachel | n/a - 3 uses
† raleigh becket | n/a - 1 use
† raoul silva | n/a - 5 uses
† raphael | n/a - 10 uses
† rapunzel | n/a - 22 uses
† raven darkholme | mystique - 12 uses
† razer | n/a - 3 uses
† reaver | karma houdini - 1 use
† red alert | redford alton - 4 uses
† reed richards | mister fantastic - 2 uses
† reilly tyne | darkdevil - 17 uses
† remington smisse | rogue ruse - 2 uses
† ren suzugamori | the best - 4 uses
† riza hawkeye | riza hawkeye - 1 use
† robert reynolds | the sentry/the void - 14 uses
† roman sionis | black mask - 17 uses
† ron weasley | n/a - 6 uses
† rose wilson | ravager - 5 uses
† roxanne ritchi | n/a - 19 uses
† roxy lalonde | robin hood of void - 9 uses
† roy harper | arsenal - 6 uses
† roy mustang | the flame alchemist - 3 uses
† ryoga kamishiro | shark - 2 uses
† ryusei sakuta | kamen rider meteor - 4 uses
† salem saberhagen | alejaaaaandro! - 2 uses
† sally jupiter | silk spectre i - 1 use
† samara | the justicar - 3 uses
† santo vaccarro | rockslide - 51 uses
† sayaka miki | oktavia - 3 uses
† selina kyle | catwoman - 119 uses
† sentinel prime | mister plow - 2 uses
† seras victoria | n/a - 23 uses
† seto kaiba | n/a - 26 uses
† severus snape | the potion master - 10 uses
† shahrazad al-rahman | the benevolent - 4 uses
† shanks | red hair - 2 uses
† sherlock holmes | the consultant - 25 uses
† shinji ikari | third child - 16 uses
† shinjiro aragaki | n/a - 1 use
† shirley bennett | tattleina - 9 uses
† shirou emiya | ally of justice - 2 uses
† shockwave | n/a - 2 uses
† skaar | killer of killers - 1 use
† skyfire | charles sagan - 9 uses
† slipstream | n/a - 27 uses
† sofia mantega | wind dancer - 14 uses
† soldier blue | n/a - 45 uses
† sollux captor | mage of doom - 4 uses
† soranik natu | n/a - 1 use
† spike | william the bloody - 5 uses
† spock | mr. spork - 1 use
† stephanie brown | batgirl - 26 uses
† stephen strange | dr. strange - 19 uses
† sterling archer | duchess - 2 uses
† steve rogers | captain america - 1 use
† stiles stilinski | the spark - 3 uses
† superboy | n/a - 1 use
† susan storm | invisible woman - 11 uses
† t'challa | black panther - 1 use
† tali'zorah vas normandy | the machinis - 9 uses
† tara maclay | glinda - 3 uses
† tarvek sturmvoraus | the storm king - 3 uses
† tavros nitram | rufio - 18 uses
† ted kord | blue beetle ii - 50 uses
† teddy altman | hulkling - 1 use
† terezi pyrope | seer of mind - 18 uses
† terra | esper - 7 uses
† terry mcginnis | batman - 3 uses
† the (11th) doctor | oncoming storm - 28 uses
† the black queen | snowman - 1 use
† the iron giant | superman - 2 uses
† the stepford cuckoos | n/a - 2 uses
† thomas blake | catman - 17 uses
† thomas elliot | hush - 1 use
† tim drake | red robin - 68 uses
† tim | n/a - 2 uses
† tobias | n/a - 1 use
† tom bronson | wildcat - 11 uses
† tom marvolo riddle | lord voldemort - 6 uses
† tommy sheperd | speed - 6 uses
† tony masters | taskmaster - 1 use
† toph bei fong | blind bandit - 59 uses
† topher brink | n/a - 33 uses
† toshiki kai | n/a - 3 uses
† travis touchdown | n/a - 3 uses
† trowa barton | n/a - 93 uses
† tsubomi hanasaki | cure blossom - 1 use
† urdnot grunt | the savage - 4 uses
† vash | the humanoid typhoon - 2 uses
† vector prime | n/a - 28 uses
† vesper lynd | n/a - 4 uses
† vic sage | the question - 19 uses
† victor mancha | n/a - 5 uses
† victor von doom | doctor doom - 9 uses
† victoria hand | n/a - 1 use
† vivi ornitier | n/a - 28 uses
† vriska serket | thief of light - 16 uses
† wade wilson | deadpool - 38 uses
† wally west | the flash - 5 uses
† wesley wyndam-pryce | watcher - 5 uses
† wheatley | n/a - 2 uses
† will graham | n/a - 1 use
† willow rosenberg | elphaba - 12 uses
† wreck-gar | n/a - 1 use
† xavin | n/a - 38 uses
† yuma tsukumo | unicorn king - 10 uses
† zatanna zatara | zatanna - 33 uses
† zelgadis | greywords - 28 uses
† zelos wilder | the great zelos wilder - 1 use
† zevran arainai | insert innuendo here - 16 uses
† ziggy freecloud | stardust - 9 uses

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